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Put It Into Practice
Step 1: After receiving criticism, especially criticism that is unfair, retreat to a safe place where you can process it. Feel your feelings about the criticism, translating them into one or more statements that begins with:
- I need...
- My values are...
- My calling in life is to... Step 2: Step back from the criticsm and look at it objectively. Recognize that human beings are notoriously ineffective at articulating exactly what they mean and doing so in a way that will best be received by another; they are usually either too hard or too soft.
Ask: What knowledge did the person who criticized me want me to have?
For instance, if you were criticized by a boss who said that you were not working as hard as you should be, the knowledge behind that criticism might be:
- The work load is piling up.
- My boss doesn't think I am operating at my full potential.
- The boss doesn't think I feel the urgency around issues that he/she does.
If a customer criticizes you for failing to meet his/her expectations, the knowledge might be,
- Our company has not yet fully understood the needs of our customer base.
- Our product is not the right one to meet this customer's need.
- This person is under a lot of pressure today. Step 3: Compare the knowledge you have gained from the objective analysis to the needs, values and calling you identified from feeling your feelings. What is the selling opportunity here? What is the opportunity for learning and growth? What actions could you take to continue the dialogue with the criticizer in a way that benefits both of you?
The purpose of... |
The purpose of feelings is to reveal a person's needs, values or calling. Feelings usually dissipate once the need, value or calling which is seeking greater expression has been identified.
The purpose of objective analysis is to translate experience into new knowledge. Once this new knowledge has been articulated, problems usually take care of themselves.
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For other ForwardFocus tips, exercises and tools, we invite you to access the Tools section of our web site: www.forwardfocusinc.com
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