Welcome to Heart to Heart

Published on the 1st and 15th of the month
The free bimonthly online newsletter from

Maggie Lichtenberg, PCC
Recent open heart surgery patient and thriver

Author of the forthcoming book
The Open Heart Companion:
Preparation and Guidance for Open-Heart Surgery Recovery

Each issue features a motivating topic from my upcoming book, The Open Heart Companion: Preparation and Guidance for Open-Heart Surgery Recovery, to be published shortly. The book’s Table of Contents is on the website. Excerpted from Chapter 2, today’s topic is:

Practice Assertive Communication

There’s a fine line between being a nuisance patient or caregiver, and a proactive one. The truth is, unless you speak up and ask questions you aren’t taking active care of yourself and your situation. We all owe it to ourselves to take responsibility for our health care, which in this day and age has become a necessary personal mandate.

In the June 27, 2005 Publishers Weekly cover story on how we as “health-care consumers” are turning to authors for medical information, writer Natalie Danford laments:

“In 2000, the average patient visit to a physician lasted a scant 18 minutes, according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. Less doctor-friendly sources give current durations as low as five minutes.”

In my experience, through many conversations with heart patients and their partners, doctors seem to divide into two categories. There are the ones who will listen, truly listen, to you. And there are the others who expect you to take orders, who have limited sensitivity, and who intimidate patients and family by becoming easily irritated when questioned. There is no excuse for anyone to not treat patient or family member with respect, or to not give you the professional time you need, whether doctor, medical technician or other hospital personnel. In an article urging bypass patients, for example, to ask questions about the bypass procedure, Dr. Eric Rose, chairman and surgeon-in-chief of the Department of Surgery at Columbia University Medical Center is quoted in the article, “The Informed Patient” in the Wall Street Journal September 9, 2004 as affirming:

“Arguably, the most important thing is that you have not only a technically competent surgeon but one that you can talk to who knows how to communicate.”

Bottom line -- if you feel you and your physician are simply not a good match, it may be best to “fire” this person and move on. It is your complete right to have a good medical partnership.

Here is a heart-warming share from one of the caregivers who answered my Caregiver Questionnaire while I was writing The Open Heart Companion – this, on taking care of her husband who had had a mitral valve repair:

Many of the questions really made me think hard about our experience and my own journey in this process. I’d like to add some things that are positives for me out of this experience: I feel a greater sense of competency and mastery in handling things in general, but especially with some of the problems I had to solve while my husband was recuperating. I lost a lot of weight and I’m really enjoying how I look and feel. Going through this encouraged me to be much more physically active. In a way, I had no choice. Instead of seeing my caregiving role as a chore, I saw it as an opportunity to grow.

                                          -- Beth Philips Brown, Media, Pennsylvania

 Feedback Request

We welcome your feedback on our topics, and we welcome your requests to address specific issues in future newsletters. Please let us hear from you! What is going on at home now, for you, during your lengthy recovery from open heart surgery, that needs addressing? Simply email Maggie@openheartcoach.com. We look forward to your comments and suggestions for future issues of
Heart to Heart.

Free Support Groups

I am currently leading two free heart surgery support groups for both caregivers and patients. The first is by telephone, and it is monthly, for one hour. The next call will be Monday evening, December 12, 2005, 9:00 PM to 10:00 PM Eastern time (or, depending on your time zone, beginning 8:00 PM Central, 7:00 PM Mountain, or 6:00 PM Pacific). For a complete description and to register to receive the call-in number, go to http://openheartcoach.com/PhoneSupportGroup.html.

The second group is an in-person open heart surgery support group in my local area, Santa Fe, NM . The group meets at Women’s Health Services, 901 West Alameda , from 5:30 PM to 7:00 PM. The remaining date for 2005 is Monday, December 19. Light refreshments are served. For more information or to register, call 505-955-9436, or go to www.womenshealthsantafe.org.

My book, The Open Heart Companion: Preparation and Guidance for Open-Heart Surgery Recovery, is complete. I’m expecting to have it available, first as an e-book, by mid-December 2005. The paperback will be available in February 2006.  Click here for previous issues of Heart to Heart for other topics covered in the book.  Click here for the book's Table of Contents.

I look forward to hearing from you –

Warmly, Heart to Heart,

     Maggie

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     Heart to Heart, Copyright (C) 2005 Maggie Lichtenberg. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without express written permission from the publisher.
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Maggie Lichtenberg, Publisher
Open Heart Publishing
4 Cosmos Court
Santa Fe, NM 87508-2285

Website:OpenHeartCoach.com