Volume
II, Issue 4 - Identify Your Unique Coping Style April
15, 2006
This free
online monthly newsletter is published on the 15th of every
month by
Maggie Lichtenberg, PCC
Recent open heart surgery patient and thriver
Identify
Your Unique Coping Style
Share Your Experiences
Free Heart Surgery Phone Support Group
Upcoming Speaking Events
A Letter from My Surgeon
More Praise for the Book
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Heart patients and loved ones find
my website both before open-heart surgery, or once they
are home recovering. Lately, I've had more sign-ups
to Heart
to Heart from those facing open-heart
surgery. So
my selection of a topic for this month is taken
from Chapter 1, "First Steps for the Patient,"
from The
Open Heart Companion: Preparation and Guidance for Open-Heart
Surgery Recovery. The
book's Table
of Contents is on the website www.openheartcoach.com.
Identify
Your Unique Coping Style
It’s important to recognize and honor our unique
predispositions. As far as hearing advance medical information,
for example, the pendulum swings from those patients who
want to be informed about every grizzly medical detail
to those who don’t want to know a thing, traversing
all variations in between.
Assess your coping style. Ask yourself what you need to
know to be self-assured before the surgery date, and in
what amount of detail. This way, if you are especially
anxious, or if certain visual mental images will wreak
havoc in your dreamland, you can let health professionals
know where you stand and thus prevent unpleasant encounters
with those whose job it is to help you.
Personally, I fall into the more
nervous side of the equation. I preface many conversations
with this request: “I
need to let you know that I don’t do well hearing
about every medical (or even dental) detail. I will be
fully present to respond to what you need me to do, how
to move my body, etc. But I ask not to hear an
in-depth description of any procedure, particularly while
it’s going on.”
For example, I learned that an angiogram—one of
the tests required before many open-heart surgeries—is
an x-ray examination of the heart and associated blood
vessels following the injection of a contrast dye, and
for me knowing only that much was enough. Another heart
patient might have wanted more details about exactly what
the procedure involves, but, knowing myself, I chose to
end the discussion there, and for me it was empowering
to set a boundary that served my needs and temperament.
The more I established boundaries with each pre-op or hospital
staffer, and combined that with “learning the ropes,” the
more I increased my self-confidence and reduced my stress
for the operation to come.
Journaling can be a wonderfully
satisfying antidote, as evidenced in this writing from
Susan in London, UK, now five weeks past her surgery. Who
can’t
relate to this story? At first, Susan wrote:
"I have just read Vol 2 Issue 2 of Heart
To Heart,
thank you very very much. I feel so alone in hospital (Kings
College Hospital London) One is well looked after and cared
for, but my op should have been cardiac catheter method
(due to having 3 ASD's, not one, so this was not possible.)
Two days later I had open heart surgery to repair the holes.
"A buddy system would be good where
you are introduced to someone who has had the same op.
Knows what its like/not sleeping, funny dreams, even
to be told to expect some depression. So far my GP has
yet to do an ecg, listen to my heart, take my blood pressure!
All he does is give me another sick note for more time
off work, not that I could work at the moment. As you
say in the article there are days where I have energy
and days when everything is a bit of an effort. It’s
5 weeks and 4 days since my op, and I don’t know
how I should be feeling. Sure I have colour in my cheeks
but get me to walk 300 yds and I'm pooped. People ask,
what do I do all day? Bits of housework, try and read
(have been reading a Harry Potter book for 3 weeks now).
Sometimes my husband makes me feel as if I'm making a
fuss and should be back to normal. I'm not yet -- maybe
soon, eh? I wish you were in the UK. HELP please."
Then this followed:
"Thank you very much for responding
to my email. I did some writing the other day where
I described my feelings. It’s entitled "Wilderness
Weeks," the weeks
between leaving hospital and starting cardiac rehabilitation
(Thursday 13th April).
"The pain has almost gone, yet my heart
aches.
"I thought I would be jumping for
joy, full of renewed life, energy, happiness…
"NO, I'm tired, sad, restless. Not unhappy
just ???????????? nothing really.
"I wish I knew what to expect, I've never
had open heart surgery before.
"Friends ask what do I do all day? Not
much really, part of me wants to, but ........its all too
much effort. I'm not lazy, usually. I’m used to working
8+ hour days.
"Last week I did do some vacuuming.
Two days later I had bad pains…
"At A & E I was told I had over
done it, told to rest and take anti-inflammatory tablets
(as well as all the others).
"I tried to drive my car, got to
the end of the road and had a cry (make that huge sob) then
came home. (I have driven the length of the UK on my
own with no fear.)
"So is it fear? Am I still ill? I expected
to feel so very different.
"I did enjoy the warmth of
the sun the other day though so......Maybe one day soon"
— Susan
J. Self, Crowborough, Sussex, UK
Please
Share Your Experiences
Please
email me at Maggie@openheartcoach.com
observations and experiences that will be informative to
others, like the commentary from Susan, for future issues
of Heart
to Heart or
for a future edition of The
Open Heart Companion. Please
include your first and last names, city and state. Thank
you!
If
you have purchased and used the E-Book or the paperback
book, The
Open Heart Companion,
please let me hear from you. What sections of the
book were most useful to you? Where did you wish
I would have included more information? What helped
you the most, and why? With your permission, I would
love to share your story or your review of the book.
Free Heart Surgery Phone Support
Group
I am currently leading a free monthly
heart surgery support group for both caregivers and patients.
It is by telephone for
one hour on a teleconference line that we all call into.
The next call will be Tuesday
evening,May 9, 2006, 9:00 PM to 10:00 PM
Eastern time (or, depending on your time zone, beginning
8:00 PM Central, 7:00 PM Mountain, or 6:00 PM Pacific). For
a complete description and to register to receive the call-in
number, go to http://openheartcoach.com/PhoneSupportGroup.html.
Adult Congenital Heart Association
2006 National Conference
September 15-17, 2006
San Francisco, CA www.achaheart.org
I will offer
a Breakout Session
"What to Do Before Your Date with Open-Heart Surgery " |
Please
see Calendar on
my web site for additional speaking events.
The paperback
book as well as the E-Book version
of The
Open Heart Companion: Preparation and Guidance for
Open-Heart Surgery Recovery are
now available. Click
here for the book's description. Click
here for ordering the E-Book, the paperback book,
or both together at a discounted price.
An excerpt from a letter from my
Mayo Clinic Surgeon, Dr. Joseph Dearani
"... The
Open Heart Companion is a superb
accomplishment and a very practical guide for patients
requiring heart surgery. It
is extremely well organized, very informative, and provides
a profile for how we (medical profession) can do it better.
"The perspective of someone who has
experienced a particular situation is often more insightful
than that of experts with formalized training. In
fact, experience brings its own expertise and that's what
is in your book. Your
words have helped me become a better surgeon, not in the
operating room, put in pre- and post-operative care — thank
you. ..."
Joseph
A. Dearani,
Cardiothoracic Surgeon, Mayo Clinic
(written March 22,
2006)
Advance praise for The
Open Heart Companion
"This passionate and personal
guide will help you both survive and thrive after open-heart
surgery.”
Mehmet
C. Oz, MD, pioneering
heart surgeon and author of
Healing
from the Heart
“The Open Heart Companion
is must reading
for anyone who requires open-heart surgery. Written by a
life coach who has been there herself, The Open Heart Companion
will help you get the most out of this dramatic and life-changing
experience.”
Christiane
Northrup, MD, author of Women's
Bodies, Women's Wisdom
"The
Open Heart Companion is just that -- a book that acts as
a loving, wise,
and comforting partner who gently guides you through the
stages of
preparing for and successfully completing open-heart surgery. A
life-saving gift filled with invaluable resources, real-life
stories and
must-know information, this book is required reading for
all patients and
loved ones."
Cheryl
Richardson, author
of Take
Time for Your Life
"This beautifully
written, comprehensive and absolutely accurate account
of how to go into, come out of, and recover from open
heart surgery is a must for patients and physicians alike.
I plan to keep a supply on hand for my own patients,
confident that they will find it, as I did, immensely
instructive and helpful.
Marianne
J. Legato, MD, author of The Female Heart:
The
Truth about Women and Heart Disease
"A terrific resource for those undergoing open-heart
surgery, both for the preparation and the recovery period. Drawn
from dozens of patient and caregiver interviews, the
book is filled with specific exercises and insights to
make the open-heart experience easier on the patient
and loved ones."
Amy
Verstappen, President, Adult Congenital Heart
Association (ACHA)
“The lessons herein are applicable
to anyone with a challenging medical or surgical condition,
not just those with heart disease. Because it outlines a
series of plans for thoughtful and collaborative action,
this book will be equally useful for patients and for those
assisting in the care of a family member or friend…I
am grateful to at last have a guide I can recommend not just
to my patients and their families, but also to my medical
and nursing colleagues as we strive to improve the care our
patients receive.”
Kathleen
Blake, MD, cardiologist at The New Mexico Heart
Institute
From
her Foreword to The
Open Heart Companion:
Preparation
and Guidance for Open-Heart Surgery Recovery
I look forward to receiving your feedback –
Warmly, Heart to Heart,
Maggie |
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Heart to Heart,
Copyright (C) 2006 Maggie Lichtenberg. All rights reserved.
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Maggie Lichtenberg, Publisher
Open Heart Publishing
4 Cosmos Court
Santa Fe, NM 87508-2285
Website:OpenHeartCoach.com
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