Exploring Boundaries with Horses

Boundary setting is an area of growth that I focus on in my Equine Experiential Learning and Coaching sessions. Boundary setting teaches us about our power and how we define our personal space.

Horses provide perfect opportunities to strengthen boundary-setting skills. It is a natural tendency for most horses to test boundaries. A horse feels secure when she knows where she stands in the pecking order of the herd. She achieves this understanding by testing boundaries and outsmarting other herd members. When a new horse arrives into the herd she establishes herself in the pecking order by her ability to hold her boundaries and stand up to others. When we engage with horses we enter into the herd. Naturally the horse wants to know who will be in charge of the herd of two.

Clients often struggle with setting appropriate boundaries with horses. I have watched horses get into a person's personal space (a one and a half foot space that surrounds the physical body) and then nudge or push the person. The person, unaware of what is really happening, will often unconsciously take a step back. When nudged she sometimes looses her balance and steps to the side. In anger, or frustration. Once she is fully present and congruent in her body and mind, she creates momentum, alignment and a stronger intention. She then takes action to set the boundary. Boundaries of this nature are set with firm, compassionate, body centered communications that exude power, will and respect. The horse responds to the request with cooperation, the message is clear and direct.

The visceral experience of setting a boundary with a 1000 pound horse brings individuals to new levels of personal power. This new strength quickly transfers into everyday life and our interactions with people. Boundary setting becomes easier and less fearful. People begin to hear and respect our requests. We learn how to transfer the power of our intention, while being fully centered in our physical body, to set good boundaries in the area of our heart, home, physical and emotional well-being, and our spirituality.

A few key points about Boundaries:

1. Boundaries are not walls but standards for right behavior and action for you and those around you to honor. Everyone has different requirements for boundaries.
2. You set a boundary when a person or horse comes toward you. A person or a horse sets a boundary when you approach them. Your horse will tell you every time you approach her where her boundary is, you job is to watch and listen for the signs.
3. Where you feel others trespass your boundaries, you are usually trespassing the same boundary with others.
4. Boundaries honor our spirit and sense of self and the correct application of boundary setting will often increase respect and trust in relationships and renew your personal energy.
5. Highly sensitive people and horses can heal and then naturally flourish and grow when their boundaries are defined, acknowledged and respected. See next month‰€™s article on how boundary work has help some of the horses in the herd here in Basalt.
6. The emotion of anger is an indicator that a boundary has been crossed. When you feel shame you have crossed someone else‰€™s.

Upcoming Equine Experiential Learning and Coaching Programs

September 9-10, 2006
Carbondale, Colorado (near Aspen)
The Dance of Authenticity, Through the Way of the Horse
Tuition: $450, early registration is $395
One spot left!

September 11-15, 2006
Carbondale, Colorado
Equine Experiential Learning and Coaching Facilitator Training.
Attend the Way of the Horse workshop on September 9-10th, 2006. September 11th through 15th September, attend a four day intensive to learn how to facilitate the Equine Experiential Learning and Coaching processes (Wednesday is a day off). Designed for coaches, counselors, therapists, healers, consultants, or equine specialists who wish to add a human/horse relationship building and learning sessions into their existing work. This is a Level One program. Email Kathy or call 303-545-2555 or 970-927-4047 directly for more information about the program, tuition and lodging
Size is limited, please register early. Only One Spot Left!!!

September 22-24, 2006
Carbondale, Colorado
The Dance of Authenticity through the Wisdom of the Horse
Everyone has a purpose and passion to bring forth into the world. During times of transition or when we lack direction, taping into our passion gives us focus and energy. The horse helps you to reconnect to what is most meaningful in your life and how you can contribute to others. Find new direction and purpose during this highly experiential and reflective workshop. Activities may include reflective round pen session, horse grooming, horse painting, movement and meditation. This workshop includes exploring one's authentic self, balancing male and female characteristics, exploring the messages behind emotions, and mind-body awareness techniques, boundary setting techniques and getting in touch with your passion. On site bodywork is available.
Tuition: $650, early registration is $575
Limited to six individuals. *Fills requirements for advanced work.

October 6-8, 2006
Minneapolis Minnesota
Passion, Purpose and Presence, Ignite Your Authentic Self
Same as above
Tuition: $650, early registration is $550
Size is limited to six individuals so please register early.
Local Contact Person: Judy Merrick-Lockett, Professional Life and Business Coach, 763-588-1111 cell 763-238-6595

October 14th-15th, 2006
Boulder, Colorado
The Wisdom of Horse: Claiming Your Boundaries with Heart
Explore the balanced expression of personal power (with heart) as you learn how to honor proper boundaries in your life. Threryone has a purpose and passion to bring forth into the world. During times of transition or when we lack direction, taping into our passion gives us focus and energy. The horse helps you to reconnect to what is most meaningful in your life and how you can contribute to others. Find new direction and purpose during this highly experiential and reflective workshop. Activities may include reflective round pen session, horse grooming, horse painting, movement and meditation. This workshop includes exploring one's authentic self, balancing male and female characteristics, exploring the messages behind emotions, and mind-body awareness techniques, boundary setting techniques and getting in touch with your passion. On site bodywork is available.
Tuition: $650, early registration is $575
Limited to six individuals. *Fills requirements for advanced work.

October 6-8, 2006
Minneapolis Minnesota
Passion, Purpose and Presence, Ignite Your Authentic Self
Same as above
Tuition: $650, early registration is $550
Size is limited to six individuals so please register early.
Local Contact Person: Judy Merrick-Lockett, Professional Life and Business Coach, 763-588-1111 cell 763-238-6595

October 14th-15th, 2006
Boulder, Colorado
The Wisdom of Horse: Claiming Your Boundaries with Heart
Explore the balanced expression of personal power (with heart) as you learn how to honor proper boundaries in your life. Through several interactive sessions with horses you will explore and practice the key components for understanding and setting boundaries. Identify new boundaries to support your life path. Learn the tools to communicate these boundaries. Use higher levels of awareness to sense the boundaries of others.
Boundaries help us to:
Gain deeper connections in relationships
Attract new opportunities in our life
Increase our personal energy
Gain self-esteem and respect for others
Love without fear
If you are ready to take your life to the next level through the Wisdom of the Horse, this workshop is for you. Establish and renew your boundaries to align your mind, body and heart with your true calling and Authentic Self!

Dates: October 14th and 15th, 9:00-4:00 each day
Where: Boulder, Colorado
Tuition: $265, please register by October 8th, space is limited.
Lunch: one hour each day, we recommend you bring a bag lunch and stay on campus.

Read Past Horse Wisdom Issues