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Welcome to the LifeExcellence Newsletter!
February 14, 2006
Written & Published by Brian E. Bartes
http://www.lifeexcellence.com
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LifeExcellence: Dream It. Plan It. Live It.®
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Table of Contents:
1. Baby Steps
2. Feature Article: HOW DO I LOVE THEE?
3. Quotes
4. Recommended Resources: Relationships
5. Self-Care: Sunshine
6. Final Thoughts: A Red Rose for a Wife
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1. Baby Steps
"How do I love thee?" you ask. "What do relationships have
to do with taking my life to the next level?" The answer:
Everything! This issue is about romance and relationship
building for three reasons: (1) The quality of your relationship
with your spouse or significant other determines your success in
business and life as much or more than any other factor; (2) In
order to maintain balance, this area of your life must be nurtured,
too; and (3) Did you really expect me to write about anything
else, given that this newsletter is being sent to you on
Valentine's Day?
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2. Feature Article: HOW DO I LOVE THEE?
Valentine's Day is a wonderful reminder of the need to be
romantic--to do nice things for our partner. But, unfortunately,
it's just one day per year. What if we extended Valentine's Day,
if we kept the fire burning year-round? What if we became
romantic on purpose, and made it a "want to", instead of being
driven by a special holiday?
For some of you, you're already doing these things, and I
commend you for that. Hopefully this article will provide an
additional tip or two. For others, this article will provide ideas
to get you back on track. Once you begin, you'll find that having a
passionate, fun, exciting relationship is easier than you think.
And the outcome is awesome!
Here are a few suggestions. All are easy to do, but they do require
action. If you work on making these a part of your life, your
relationship will grow in leaps and bounds. You will notice a
difference immediately, and for as long as you choose to retain
these habits in your life.
Say I love you at least once per day. It is important for your
partner to hear those words. Even though your partner knows it
intuitively, hearing it verbally, with heartfelt emotion, is like
sweet music to ones ears.
Give small gifts, such as flowers, chocolates or a heart-shaped
balloon. The emphasis here is on thoughtfulness and creativity,
not cost. My children cut red and pink hearts out of construction
paper, and glue them on white cards. We can learn a lot from
children.
When you're with your partner, be there. Be present, and
attentive. Communicate. For some, this comes very easily. If
this one's tough, then make it your highest priority. Good
communication is the primary reason for the success of
relationships, and poor communication is the primary reason
for the failure of relationships.
Make being together a higher priority. Again, for some, this
comes naturally. For others, especially if you have children, this
is more difficult. Quality time to focus on your partner is
extremely important. Weekend getaways are great, but so is a
night out, or even a couple hours during the day. Hire a babysitter,
or ask a friend to watch the children and return the favor another
time. Quality time together is important, and so is quantity.
Here are a couple additional things for men to try:
Ask about her day, then listen attentively for the response.
Women will want to give you details. If possible, ask about
specific events that you were aware of from the day, such as
"How did your meeting with Client X go?" or "How was your
doctor's appointment?"
Refrain from giving advice. Unless they ask specifically,
women don't want you to solve their problems. Instead, just
listen. Empathize, and bite your tongue if you are tempted to
provide a solution.
Notice changes. Pay close attention for haircuts, new clothes
and perfume. Notice them, and compliment her. This is huge!
And a couple things for women to try:
Understand that the three tips above are unnatural for men,
and forgive him when he doesn't do them. If your man forgets,
it's not because he doesn't love you.
Be okay with short answers. When you ask a man how his
day went day, and he says "good", recognize that his answer was
intended to be an efficient (and sufficient) response. Move on.
Take the most valuable part of your life, your personal relationship,
and make it more than you ever dreamed it could be!
If any of these ideas make a difference in your life, please share
your story with us! And if you have other ideas for improving
relationships, please email me. I'd love to hear from you!
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3. Quotes
Love is the total commitment to the full development of the
potential of the other.
- W. Scott Peck
Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving
someone deeply gives you courage.
- Lao Tzu
In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two
minus one equals nothing.
- Mignon McLaughlin
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4. Recommended Resources
21 Great Ways to Stay in Love Forever
by Brian Tracy
Learn how to practice the most powerful strategies for building
and maintaining wonderful, loving relationships throughout your life
- these ideas bring about changes immediately.
This free program (you pay only $4.95 for shipping) teaches you how to:
1. Build self-esteem on every occasion
2. Seek first to understand
3. Encourage the other person continually
4. Expect the best
5. Accept differences in each other
6. Ask for what you want
7. Communicate openly and honestly
To order, click here
1001 Ways to Be Romantic
by Gregory J. Godek
Okay, so some of them are a little corny. But if you're running
out of ideas, this book contains plenty of great ways to express
love. Everyone in a relationship should have this in his or her
reference (i.e., romance) library.
To order book, click here
Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus
by John Gray
In this book, Gray uses the metaphor of men and women being
from different planets to illustrate the commonly occurring
conflicts between men and women. It is mandatory for anyone
wanting to develop a deeper and more satisfying relationship
with his or her partner.
To order book, click here
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5. Self-Care: Sunshine
This is the time of year when many of us feel the winter blahs
—the excitement of the holidays are over, the New Year is in
full gear, and the skies are dull—in much of the country.
For many people, the lack of sunlight can actually cause symptoms
of low energy and even depression—a SAD result. SAD is the condition
known as Seasonal Affective Disorder. Studies show that exposure to
sunlight actually boosts our moods. Additionally, sunlight enables our
bodies to produce Vitamin D, which is beneficial because it increases
calcium absorption (minimizing bone loss) and helps to sustain
the immune system.
So if you feel you’re in a slump this winter, sit near a sun-drenched window,
take walks outside, or travel to a sunny destination. Just be sure to limit your
exposure in the sun and always wear sunscreen, sunglasses, and/or a hat to
protect your skin and eyes.
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6. Final Thoughts: A Red Rose for a Wife
On the day after Jack Benny's death in December, 1974, a
single long stemmed red rose was delivered to Mary Livingstone
Benny, his wife of 48 years.
When the blossoms continued to arrive, day after day, Mary
called the florist to find out who sent them.
"Quite a while before Jack passed away," the florist told her,
"He stopped in to send a bouquet. As he was leaving, he suddenly
turned back and said, "If anything should happen to me, I want
you to send Mary a single rose every day.
There was complete silence on Mary's end of the line, then
weeping, she said, "Goodbye."
Subsequently, Mary learned that Jack had actually included a
provision for the flowers in his will, one perfect red rose daily
for the rest of her life.
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Thank you for reading the LifeExcellence Newsletter.
Make this week ROMANTIC!
- Brian Bartes
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