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LIVING OUT YOUR DREAMS Welcome to the January, 2000 edition of LIVING OUT YOUR DREAMS.
We hope you all celebrated the new year, the beginning of the new millenium, in a way that meant something to you. Stacey and I in fact spent the new year together with other friends and celebrated with a burning bowl ceremony, letting go of what we no longer wanted to carry with us into this new year/milleniun and inviting in whatever it was that we wanted to create for ourselves. It's a very powerful ritual, something you can really do anytime if it speaks to you. In our newsletter this month we offer two new articles. Stacey writes about the importance of allowing yourself to dream. Deb writes about the power of seeing and acknowledging the hidden gifts in others. We hope you enjoy these articles. As always, we encourage your ongoing feedback and invite you to submit articles for possible inclusion in the newsletter. Please forward this on to anyone whom you think will enjoy it. We ask that you forward it in its entirety. If this has been forwarded to you and you want to subscribe, mail to delkin@mindspring.com with the word "subscribe" as the subject. To remove yourself from the mailing list, type "unsubscribe" as the subject. With love and respect,
Deb and Stacey INCLUDED IN THIS ISSUE:
Upcoming Events
Allowing Yourself to Dream
The Power of Being Seen ************************************************************ UPCOMING EVENTS:
CONFIDENT WOMEN - Coaching group.
Most women, even those who are quite accomplished, lack confidence in certain areas of their life. This group will provide them the tools, support and encouragement to have more confidence to do more and have more of what they truly want in life. We will take on real life projects you've been wanting to do in addition to exercises to help build the confidence muscle. The group starts Monday evening, February 7th and will meet every other week. Contact Stacey for more information at 770-643-0886 or mailto:coach@balancedliving.com to request an email brochure. Include, Confident Women, your name and daytime phone number in the body of the email. This group is currently offered in Atlanta. HEALTHY COMMUNICATION SKILLS FOR EVERYDAY LIVING - Getting ourselves heard in this everyday world can be quite a challenge. And listening to what others have to say to us can be just as big of a challenge. Deb will be offering a series of 5 classes designed to help you improve your everyday communication skills, your listening skills, and help you get more of the results that you want in your every day life. These classes will be offered at the Wellness Center at DeKalb Medical Center on Saturday's from 10:30 - 12:00 starting February 5. For more information, call Deb at 404-320-9548. To register, call DeKalb Medical Center at 404-501-2222. SUPPORT GROUP FOR THOSE STRUGGLING WITH FOOD AND WEIGHT ISSUES -
This group is being formed for those of you who want help and support with your eating and weight issues. The group is designed to give you a place where you can check in, talk about what's going on with you around food and weight, and get support from others who are going through the same thing. We will look at issues such as; feelings we have about our bodies, how we talk to ourselves about our bodies, our eating habits, how we feel about our femininity/masculinity, eating to avoid feelings, and difficulty connecting with others. We will also look at new ways to manage stress, deal with feelings and learn new and better ways to self-care. Led by Deb Elkin, a Licensed Professional Counselor and Brodie Haddock, a Licensed Dietician, this group will meet on Wednesday evenings from 5:30 to 7:00 for at DeKalb Wellness Center for 8 weeks, starting on February 16. A 12 week group starts on April 19. For more information, call Deb at 404-320-9548. To register, call DeKalb Wellness Center at 404-501-2222. LIMITED TO 12. PROCESS GROUP FOR THOSE STRUGGLING WITH FOOD AND WEIGHT ISSUES -
This group is designed for those who are ready to process some of the underlying issues and feelings that are associated with their eating issues. We will take an in-depth look at the internal issues associated with each person's issues with food, eating, and weight. We can educate ourselves about diet, exercise, and nutrition, but unless we address the underlying emotions and issues that lead to our abusing food, our recovery process is not complete. Through the use of group process, through sharing your stories and hearing other people's stories, through the support that this type of group offers, we will create a safe environment to begin to work through the underlying causes of your food and eating issues. Led by Deb Elkin a Licensed Professional Counselor, this group will meet weekly for 12 weeks, starting Wednesday, April 19. For more information, call Deb Elkin at 404-320-9548. To register, call DeKalb Wellness Center at 404-501-2222. LIMITED TO 8. You must have an initial meeting with group leader prior to start of the group. *************************************************************
Allowing Yourself to Dream
By Stacey Mayo Sometimes we don't allow ourselves to dream because we don't believe it is possible to have what we truly desire. Perhaps we don't think we are the kind of person who could make it happen. Perhaps others have put a damper on the idea. All of us face this at some point in our lives. It is much easier to say something is not important than to face our fear that we might not be able to have it. I know when I was single and frustrated with the dating scene, I would say things like "I don't need a man anyway" or "I'm better off single" or "It's me and you, LB (that's my dog) against the world." I said those things to build myself up, to make myself feel better for not having a great committed relationship and because, in those moments, I didn't believe it was possible. Now it is true, I didn't "need" a man; not to make me whole anyway. But down deep I did want a relationship. I had to be willing to believe it was possible to have the kind of relationship I wanted, and be willing to fail at it (numerous times), before I learned to be the kind of person who could create a relationship that was beyond my wildest dreams. Sometimes people suppress their true desires and dreams for so long, they can't get in touch with them. They have difficulty imagining what a great career, relationship, or life would look like. Often they don't trust their abilities to create a great marriage, sustain a profitable business, change careers, make a lot of money or have rewarding friendships. The fear of failing at these things is what keeps them from having it. On the other side of the spectrum, what seems like an unfulfilled dream may really be a 'should'. I 'should' make more money, be married by now, lose weight, be happy in my current job, etc. 'Should's' are things that we think we should do to be popular or gain approval from others. Generally, when we are living into our 'shoulds' we are not being true to ourselves.
So how do you know if something is a 'should' or a suppressed dream? If you are questioning this for yourself, take a minute to do the following exercise. Start by thinking of something that you have stopped pursuing in your life. Then ask yourself the following question: If I knew I could have ________________ (fill in the blank), would I want it?
If the answer is yes, it is probably a suppressed dream, otherwise, there is a good chance it's a should. But don't stop there. You may want to fill in different variations of to see if your answer changes. Expand the description of what you want to be, really capture the essence of it. Examples of variations on similar dreams are listed below: a) A job that I love that pays the bills.
b) A job that I love that pays extremely well
c) A career that is fulfilling and supports me in the ways that are important to me
a) My own business doing something I love
b) My own business, doing what I do now.
c) My own successful business in alignment with my passions and a full life that I love a) A committed relationship
b) A healthy, nurturing committed relationship with my soulmate
c) A healthy, nurturing relationship with someone I connect with on all levels and who is available and desires to be in relationship with me You get the idea. Expand the possibility to be that of something you would get really excited about, even if you don't know how to make it happen. Allow yourself to visualize having it, to dream about it and then get yourself supported by a coach or counselor in becoming the person who could make that dream come true. ************************************************************* THE POWER OF BEING SEEN
by Deb Elkin I completed a nine month training program this past weekend in energy medicine. Ten of us had come together, an excited, hopeful, yet somewhat skeptical lot. Over the course of the nine months, we learned a lot, we risked a lot, and we at times shared deeply of ourselves. We shared who it was that we really were. We got seen, for better and for worse. As we went around this weekend, taking turns closing and completing and saying goodbye, what was most powerful for me was how incredibly important and valuable it had been for each of us to be seen and accepted for who we were. We were gifted these past nine months with a teacher who saw our light when we could not see it for ourselves. And he held us in it. He held it for us. He named it out loud and told us about our gifts. He drew us out. He helped us shine. And it was a gift to each of us, to be so seen. We have all been the recipients of teachers or significant others in our lives who have seen our potential, our hidden gifts, and have drawn us out and nurtured us. They were people we probably still hold close to our hearts, who we remember fondly, and who had a deep influence on us. They were special people. We felt, and were, seen by them, and that meant the world to us. We were taken seriously for who we were and what we were capable of. And it felt wonderful. Unfortunately, we can probably count those special people on one hand, perhaps two. Many of our teachers/significant others, were not so loving, so open, so encouraging. They didn't see us, our depth, our hidden qualities and talents. They may have ignored us. They may not have had time for us. They may have teased or ridiculed or humiliated us. And intentionally or not, they closed us down. We became afraid and we became ashamed and we learned to hide important aspects of ourselves. The risk was too high. It was safer to hide.
And we suffered. And if we are still hiding, then we are still suffering, because we aren't fully, truly alive. We're snuffing out a vital and long forgotten part of ourselves that is our core, our essence, our light. All of us are teachers, every one of us, everyday, to our children, our partners, our parents, our co-workers, our friends, and to ourselves. We have the ability to see the good, the light, the gift in those we interact with every day, and as their teachers, help them bring it out, help them shine. We have the ability, the opportunity to love unconditionally. What a huge difference we could make not only in one person's life, but in the world as a whole, if we each brought that gift of loving kindness and compassion, of seeing and acknowledging, to those we love and those we touch each day. So I invite you to open your eyes to those around you. You have the ability to be a huge gift to the people in your life. And it is really so simple - take a minute to look through different eyes, to see the goodness in others. See below the surface of their defensiveness, their sarcasm, their shyness, their insecurity. Look for their loving hearts, their compassionate nature, their nurturing nature. Look for their honesty, their integrity. Look for their intelligence, their humor. Look for their passion for life. Look and see what makes them who they really are, what makes them unique, what makes them a gift to the world. And then draw attention to it. Acknowledge it out loud to them. They need to hear it. They need to be seen again. They need help knowing they are appreciated and valued and not to hide themselves anymore. Hold them in it. Stay steady. Be gentle. Know that you are truly making a difference in someone's life. And it's so simple, it takes so little effort and time. Wouldn't it be lovely to be one of those people who someone looks back on one day and holds in fond esteem for the gift you gave them that deeply affected , or perhaps changed, their life? ************************************************************ If something in this newsletter resonates with you and you would like
support moving forward with it, Deb and Stacey are available for consultation. Deb is available for private counseling sessions to help you work through the unresolved issues of your life and brings a spiritual perspective to this healing process. For a free 30 minute consultation or for an appointment (by phone or in person), you can reach her at 404-320-9548 or email her at
delkin@mindspring.com As your success coach, Stacey will partner with you to help you clarify and make your dreams a reality. To schedule a free phone consultation and find out if coaching is right for you, contact Stacey at mailto:coach@balancedliving.com or call 770-643-0886. Phone and in-person coaching as well as career testing is available. http://www.balancedliving.com
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