LIVING OUT YOUR DREAMS Welcome to the May 2000 edition of Living Out Your Dreams. In this issue, we offer two new articles. Deb writes part one of a two part series, helping those of you who struggle with chronic eating and weight issues to "take a look inside." Stacey writes about how you can create a "dream team" to support you in your journey towards living out your dreams. We hope you find these articles enjoyable and helpful. As always, we invite your feedback and comments. Please forward this newsletter on to anyone whom you think will enjoy it. We ask that you forward it in its entirety. If this has been forwarded to you and you want to subscribe, mail to delkin@mindspring.com with the word "subscribe" as the subject. To remove yourself from the mailing list, mail to the same and type "unsubscribe" as the subject. With love and respect,
Deb and Stacey
IN THIS ISSUE:
Upcoming Events
Weight Loss from the Inside Out
Creating Your Dream Team
************************************************************* UPCOMING EVENTS:
Weight Loss Group - New ongoing group is forming for those of you who would like support with "going inside" (see Deb's article) to look at the internal issues associated with your struggles with food and weight. Dates and times: To be announced. Location: Decatur. For more information call Deb at 404-320-9548 or email her at delkin@mindspring.com. DREAM TEAM NIGHT - Sometimes we lose touch with our deepest dreams in the daily bustle. The intention of Dream Team night is to get back in touch with those dreams and receive support from others in living them out. Network with like-minded people who are on the journey to clarifying and achieving their dreams, share your victories and challenges, learn new
skills and get supported. Monthly gathering. Come once or come every month. Starts Tuesday June 13th. 7:30 - 9:00. $12.00 in advance, $18.00 at the door. Bring a friend and receive a discount. Contact Stacey for at 770-643-0886 or email coach@balancedliving.com for email flier. Type "dream team" in the header and include your name and phone # in the body. CONFIDENT WOMEN - Coaching Group. New start date is June 14th. Most women, even those who are quite accomplished, lack confidence in certain areas of their life. This group will provide them the tools, support and
encouragement to have more confidence to do more and have more of what they truly want in life. We will take on real life projects you've been wanting
to do in addition to exercises to help build the confidence muscle. Meets
bimonthly on Wednesday evenings. Contact Stacey for more information at
770-643-0886 or request email brochure from coach@balancedliving.com. Type "brochure" in header and include your name and phone # in the body.
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WEIGHT LOSS FROM THE INSIDE OUT - Part One
by Deb Elkin I write this first of a two part series for those of you who have struggled with the ups and downs of weight loss and weight gain. This ongoing battle with food and weight deeply effects how we feel about ourselves in the world and how we bring ourselves into the world. And when we don't feel good about ourselves, it makes it difficult for us to carry out our dreams. So this month we will look at the reasons we tend to overeat. Next month will focus on how you can help yourself to make changes in your chronic battle with weight. Most of you probably know about the importance of good nutrition, good diet, good eating habits and a good exercise program. For some, these elements are what it takes to successfully lose weight and keep it off. For many others, however, this just doesn't seem to work. The weight either doesn't come off, or it doesn't stay off. And often, we don't know why. In the ongoing attempt to lose weight, there is often one important element that doesn't get addressed. That is, what is going on internally, what is happening inside of us? What thoughts are driving us to overeat? What feelings, whether they are known to us or not, make us turn to food to soothe or comfort us, to make it all go away? How do the stresses and events of our lives, past and present, contribute to our daily struggle with food? It is important to begin to understand the answers to these questions. When a person is unable to understand and resolve these internal problems, weight loss will probably be temporary. So why do people chronically overeat? There are many reasons, and I want to acknowledge that they are good ones. We often use food as a coping mechanism to help us handle the stresses in our lives. Sometimes we know what those are and sometimes we don't. If you are someone who struggles with food, consider the list below and see what resonates with you. People overeat because: - It is a way to comfort and nurture ourselves. In times of distress, food may be the only known way to soothe ourselves, to make us feel better.
- It is a way to detach from uncomfortable feelings and situations. It is also a way to numb emotional pain. If we can't tolerate conflict, if we don't want to feel our emotions, or if we just aren't familiar with the world and language of emotions, we may turn to food instead.
- It is a way to avoid intimacy. For some people, getting close to others just doesn't feel safe or comfortable. But we all need a place to be heard, validated, supported and nurtured. If that is missing from our lives, we often turn to food as our source of comfort.
- Sometimes people need to keep a distance from their sexuality and their sexual feelings, and hiding their bodies beneath excess weight helps accomplishes that.
- It is a way to express anger. This can be a deeply buried anger from the past, a current anger, anger at others or anger at self. When there is not a way to express anger directly and outwardly, it can go inward, towards self, with food.
What you need to know is that in all of these cases, food serves only as a bandaid. The issues, the feelings, the problems, don't go away. They are just temporarily appeased, temporarily soothed. But since they weren't dealt with, they resurface, and we go back to food to try and soothe it away again. So over the next month, I invite you to simply start paying attention to your eating habits. Notice when you are overeating. Notice when you are eating mindlessly, without any real awareness that food is going in your mouth. See if you can start paying attention to what you are feeling when you do this. See if you can begin to make connections with the events in your life that may be associated with your overeating. Write them down, look for patterns. The first step to making change is to become aware. ************************************************************* Creating a Dream Team
By Stacey Mayo Do you have a dream that is not coming true or perhaps isn't happening fast enough? Have there been naysayers who squashed your dreams and told you they are not possible, you are not good enough or you must be crazy? These people are a dime a dozen. Perhaps the biggest naysayer has been inside your own head, telling you why your dream is not possible. When we listen to these naysayers or gremlins, we get stopped in pursuing our dreams or sometimes get off our original track. We can easily get caught up in the societal norm of what is acceptable to do or be, even if that is contradictory to our own dream. One way to counteract the naysayers is to create a dream team of people who believe in you and your dream and will actively support you in making it come true. I cannot emphasize enough the difference that a positive support system can make in your life and living out your dreams. You may be one of those people who have always done things yourself. That's okay. But it is definitely the hard way. Sharing your ideas with supportive people creates new ideas, resources and ways of doing things that you may not have thought of by yourself. It also helps to counteract the gremlins. One way to start finding these people is to start sharing your dream. When I told people I was writing a book about women who overcame obstacles to living out their dreams, people spontaneously started brainstorming names of women I could include in the book. It was heartwarming and fun to have people contributing to my dream. And I got the names of a lot of people I wouldn't have thought of otherwise. So choose one dream that you are committed to making coming true and start sharing your dream. If people respond negatively, cross them off your dream team list. You'll probably not want to hang out with them much while pursuing your dream. But don't let them stand in the way. There are plenty of people out there who will be supportive. A dream team can take the following forms. Choose one or more ideas from the list below or create your own: q It can be one or more persons who really believe in you such as a significant other or a dream coach or a therapist to help you work through old issues.
q It can be a group of experts who serve as your board of directors and meet regularly to advise you in attaining your big dream.
q It can be several individuals who you know you can call upon for support as needed.
q It can be different individuals who support you in different areas of your life.
q It can be a local dream team group that meets monthly and support each other in their dreams. Check your area for local groups. Contact some coaches and see if they have coaching or support groups of this type. If there aren't any existing, you might start your own. Place a flier in a bookstore or church or run an ad in a local paper and see who calls. What is one step you can take to get support for living out your dream today? Write it down on your calendar and take action to make it happen. ************************************************************* If something in this newsletter resonates with you and you would like
support moving forward with it, Deb and Stacey are available for consultation. As your success coach, Stacey will partner with you to help you
clarify and make your dreams a reality. To schedule a free phone
consultation and find out if coaching is right for you, contact Stacey at
mailto:coach@balancedliving.com or call 770-643-0886. Phone and in-person coaching as well as career testing is available.
http://www.balancedliving.com Deb is available for private counseling sessions to help work through the unresolved issues of your life and brings a spiritual perspective to this healing process. For a free 30 minute consultation or for an appointment (by phone or in person), you can reach her at 404-320-9548 or email her at
delkin@mindspring.com. *************************************************************
Copyright 2000, Center for Balanced Living Inc., and Winged Spirit, Inc.
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