LIVING OUT YOUR DREAMS Welcome to the June issue of LIVING OUT YOUR DREAMS. In this issue Stacey talks about the ways we allow our past to obstruct us from making our dreams come true and Deb gives us more information on how to control compulsive eating from the inside out. We have also found some great new websites for you to visit. Please forward this newsletter on to anyone whom you think will enjoy it. We ask that you forward it in its entirety. If this has been forwarded to you and you want to subscribe, mail to delkin@mindspring.com with the word "subscribe" as the subject. To remove yourself from the mailing list, mail to the same and type "unsubscribe" as the subject. With love and respect, Deb and Stacey IN THIS ISSUE: q UPCOMING EVENTS
q IS YOUR PAST HOLDING YOU BACK FROM MAKING YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE?
q WEIGHT LOSS FROM THE INSIDE OUT
q RESOURCES YOU CAN USE UPCOMING EVENTS: DREAM TEAM NIGHT - Sometimes we lose touch with our deepest dreams in the daily bustle. The intention of Dream Team night is to get back in touch with those dreams and receive support from others in living them out. The last Dream Team Night was a big success. Here is what one participant had to say. "I loved my dream team experience. I really walked through a fear in front of all those people! It was scary while doing it but afterwards I was just on a high for doing it."
Next meeting is Tuesday July 11th. 7:15 - 9:15. Contact Stacey for at 770-643-0886 or email coach@balancedliving.com for email flier. Type "dream team" in the header and include your name and phone # in the body CONFIDENT WOMEN - Coaching Group. New start date is June 14th. Most women, even those who are quite accomplished, lack confidence in certain areas of their life. This group will provide them the tools, support and
encouragement to have more confidence to do more and have more of what they truly want in life. We will take on real life projects you've been wanting
to do in addition to exercises to help build the confidence muscle. Meets
bimonthly on Wednesday evenings. Contact Stacey for more information at
770-643-0886 or request email brochure from coach@balancedliving.com. Type "brochure" in header and include your name and phone # in the body. ********************************************************************** Is Your Past Holding You Back from Making Your Dreams Come True?
By Stacey Mayo It is easy to bring our past forward into our present without even being conscious of it. And, doing so can stop us from taking the next step to living out our dreams. Last week I went to a coaching conference here in Atlanta. I have been coaching for 4 1/2 years and have never had a desire to attend these conferences. I really had little desire to attend this one, but since it was here in Atlanta, I felt like it was a good opportunity to check it out. The experience was one of the most enriching I had felt in a long time. I got educated, rejuvenated and validated, experienced healing on some personal issues and bonded with some awesome people from all around the world. With an experience like that, I had to ask myself, why have you resisted this for so many years? The answer was "my past". I had been to many Human Resources conferences in my past. There were thousands of people there, most of whom I had nothing in common with. That in itself, should have been a sign that human resources was not my life's work. The breakout sessions and keynotes were educational, but generally I forgot about them as soon as I got back to the "real workplace". This time I can choose to bring back the material that fits for me and apply it. As a matter of fact, I am already doing so. As I look back on it now, it is self-evident that this experience would naturally be different because I am now in a field I am passionate about and I think similarly to others in this field. But prior to this I had not seen that my past was clouding my judgment about the present. This lack of awareness kept me from something that was very beneficial and nurturing to my soul. So how can you know if your past is getting in your way? Take the time now to notice one change your are resisting or one thing you are procrastinating doing. Now ask yourself,
q How does my past affect how I feel about this?
q Are there any pre-conceived beliefs I have about this based on my past experiences?
q What, if anything is different about me or my situation than was so in my past?
q How, if at all, might my experience be different now with this new awareness? As you go though these questions, you might notice a couple of things. You could determine a) everything is the same as in the past and it is time for you to get off this loop and pursue something that fits you better or
b) you or your situation is different this time and you can bring something else to the experience which could cause a more rewarding outcome. Why not take a chance? Either way, your heightened awareness about how your past affects you can impact more conscious decisions for you in living out your dreams.
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Weight Loss From the Inside Out- Part 2
by Deb Elkin Last month we began to explore the reasons that people tend to overeat and why they continually struggle with maintaining weight loss. (For new subscribers who would like a copy of last month's article, email me at my address listed below.) This month we will look at what needs to happen in order for you to take off weight and keep it off. Hopefully you have begun to pay attention to your eating patterns over this past month and have learned some things about yourself in the process. Perhaps you weren't able to make connections between your overeating and your feelings or the events in your life. Perhaps you just weren't able to bring yourself to focus in and pay attention to it. That's OK, and know that you are likely not alone. Learning to listen to and pay attention to what's going on inside, especially when you are not used to it or have been actively avoiding it, is not an easy task. So what needs to happen to really break these habitual eating patterns? First, of course, you will need to gain an understanding of why you chronically overeat (for comfort and nurturing, to detach from uncomfortable feelings and situations, to avoid intimacy, to keep a distance from your sexuality and sexual feelings, to express anger - see part one for a more thorough discussion.) You need to know that there is no quick fix here. The emotional difficulties that lead to chronic overeating are usually long standing. Working through them therefore takes time. Be patient with yourself and with the process. In addition, you will need to develop a new set of skills. These skills include: - learning a new repertoire of feeling words so that you can figure out what it is that you are feeling.
- learning to acknowledge and claim these feelings, to yourself.
- learning to express those feelings to others, and appropriately, so that you no longer need to stuff them or numb out with food.
- learning how to listen to your body's internal cues that have long been ignored. These signals give you important information about how you are feeling, both physically and emotionally.
- learning to establish and maintain close relationships with others. In doing this, you can let go of food as your primary relationship for soothing and companionship.
You will also need to find new ways to nurture your body other than food. Some possibilities to consider are: - facials/manicures/pedicures
- using scented lotions on your body - applying them in a nurturing way
- attending to (vs. ignoring) your medical problems
So where do you go to get help with developing these new skills? There are lots of possibilities. Most importantly, find someone to talk to, someone you can trust and who truly understands the issues you are dealing with. It will be especially helpful to talk with a professional who is trained in this area. You can do that through individual or group therapy. You can join a support group. You can join programs like Overeaters Anonymous. It is often very helpful to talk with others who are dealing with the same issues as you. It helps you realize that you are not alone. Here are some other helpful suggestions: - Read, get familiar with the issues at hand. Go the bookstore and browse, search the web. There is a wonderful book company, Gurze books, that specializes in eating disorders and eating issues. You can find them at www.bulimia.com, or call them at 800-756-7533 for a catalog.
- Journal. Let yourself explore your eating patterns. Write about how you were feeling or what you were thinking when you binged today or ate anxiously or mindlessly. Make a list of feeling words. Explore your new relationship with your feelings and with others.
- Use creative outlets to express what is trapped inside of you. This can be done through art, movement, or music. Do it on your own. Take a class. Or find a therapist who specializes in these areas.
Remember, this is a journey. It was a long time in the making and will probably be a long time in the healing. But persevere, be patient, have faith.
In time, as you can begin to break these habitual ways of eating and relating to food, and find healthier ways to get nurtured and supported, you will begin to feel better about yourself and how you relate to your world. **********************************************************************************
RESOURCES YOU CAN USE Free Timely Time Management Tips to increase your personal
productivity and give you more time and balance for your
personal life. Subscribe at: http://www.topica.com/lists/timemanagement
Self-care at it's best. Check out the Comfort Queen. www.comfortqueen.com
There are lots of great articles on self-care and living out your dreams plus some fun comfort queen products you can buy. This is a delightful site.
************************************************************* If something in this newsletter resonates with you and you would like
support moving forward with it, Deb and Stacey are available for consultation. As your dream coach, Stacey will partner with you to help you clarify and make your dreams a reality. To schedule a free phone consultation and find out if coaching is right for you, contact Stacey at coach@balancedliving.com or call 770-643-0886. Phone and in-person coaching are available. http://www.balancedliving.com Deb is available for private counseling sessions to help work through the unresolved issues of your life and brings a spiritual perspective to this healing process. For a free 30 minute consultation or for an appointment (by phone or in person), you can reach her at 404-320-9548 or email her at
delkin@mindspring.com. *************************************************************
Copyright 2000, Center for Balanced Living Inc., and Winged Spirit, Inc.
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