LIVING OUT YOUR DREAMS Welcome to the October edition of Living Out Your Dreams. In this issue Stacey writes about what it means to have a healthy image of success. Deb shares an article first written in the winter of 1998 about appreciating the gifts (of ourselves!) that we bring to the world. Please forward this newsletter to anyone whom you think would enjoy it. We'd like to share our thoughts on LIVING OUT YOUR DREAMS with as many people as possible. New instructions for subscribing to or removing yourself from this list are outlined at the end of the newsletter. If you would like to correspond with us directly, do NOT hit reply. Contact Deb at delkin@mindspring.com or Stacey at coach@balancedliving.com. We enjoy hearing from you and welcome your thoughts and suggestions.
If something in this newsletter resonates with you and you would
like support moving forward with it, Deb and Stacey are available for
consultation. Please scroll to the end of the newsletter for more information. With love and respect,
Deb and Stacey *************************************************************
IN THIS ISSUE:
UPCOMING EVENTS
A HEALTHY IMAGE OF SUCCESS
THE GIFT OF YOU *************************************************************
UPCOMING EVENTS:
AHEAD OF THE CURVE, QUANTUM LEAPS IN LEADERSHIP!
POSSIBLE WOMAN LEADERSHIP CONFERENCE IN JAMAICA! January 18-21, 2001. Come join Stacey at this extraordinary conference with an incredible line-up of speakers and workshops. WIND, WATER, WISDOM & WOMEN
Unwind in the relaxing blue waters and warm sunshine of the Caribbean.
Explore the many facets of the feminine psyche.
Network with dynamic, successful businesswomen.
Create long-lasting business and personal relationships. Stacey will be speaking on Living Your Dreams. Visit www.possiblewoman.com for more information and sign up for a learning and networking vacation of a lifetime. CREATING HEALTHY SUCCESS IN THE NEW YEAR. Join Stacey at the North Fulton Executive Network meeting in Alpharetta at 11:30 on January 24th where she will speak about and coach audience members on this topic of healthy success. Exact location to be announced. ************************************************************
A Healthy Image of Success
By Stacey Mayo Lately I have seen many individuals and clients who have thought about giving up on their dreams. Some believe they have to sacrifice everything to have them. Others are afraid to create a career they are passionate about because of a tendency to lose themselves in their work. Yet others are so tired from working hard, that there is little energy left to create what they really want. It is no wonder that people feel this way. The role models we have for success are often not the healthiest ones. Young Olympic athletes train long and hard often giving up a normal life of school and friends. Dot.com entrepreneurs work 12- hour days with the hopes of being millionaires when the IPO hits. Famous musicians and authors travel more often than not, frequently sacrificing the relationships they leave behind. And executives and small business owners keep working harder and faster with the hopes of getting and staying ahead, only to burn out at an early age. It doesn't have to be this way. We can't change our culture overnight but we can create it to be different for ourselves. And if enough of us decide to create healthy success for ourselves, we can eventually cause a shift in our culture. It is already starting to happen. People are tired and unable to sustain this hectic pace. So what would it look like to do things differently? Do you believe you can succeed financially and still have a life outside of work? It doesn't have to be one or the other - relationships or career - fun or hard work - fulfillment or money. Putting energy towards one thing is fine if that is your only priority in life. But check in with yourself. What are your values? Is it important to you to have a fulfilling career AND earn a good living? Do you want own a great business AND have a healthy significant relationship? Choose all of those things that really matter to you and don't settle for less. Once you know what you want, achieving it may require thinking outside of the box. There aren't a lot of healthy role models in the public eye, but you can create your own vision of success -- one that works for you. You can start by looking at what has and hasn't worked for you in the past. If you have a tendency to be driven and neglect relationships, create a plan to make relationships a priority and still get the job done. You might want to brainstorm some ideas with a mentor or a coach. Secondly, look at people who are successful and take the bits and pieces of what they are doing that fit for you and incorporate them into your vision. Discard the behaviors that don't work for you. For example, maybe you want to write a book but don't want to travel extensively on tour when it is published. Rather than giving up the idea of writing a book, you could research people and resources who have promoted their books in innovative ways such as radio interviews from their home, the internet, etc. What is your dream? And how can you live it out in a healthy way?
Healthy success requires getting clear on what is important to you and creating a life that fits with that picture. It is also about changing old habits that no longer serve you so you can enjoy the journey of living out your dreams. Your challenge: Begin this week to create your own vision of healthy success. What does this mean to you? What would it look like? Take bits and pieces of what others are doing that resonate with you and leave behind the parts you don't like. How healthy is your image of success? Review the following symptoms of unhealthy success to gauge your current status. Next month we will list some of the attributes of healthy success and talk about how to change some of the old behaviors that may keep you from enjoying the journey as you live out your dreams. 21 COMMON SYMPTOMS OF UNHEALTHY SUCCESS
by Stacey Mayo 1) You are often tired; unenergized.
2) You get sick frequently OR have physical symptoms that incapacitate you in some way (i.e., back pain, etc.).
3) Your life is totally work focused - little or no time for relationships or friends.
4) You often eat at your desk or get food at a fast food drive thru.
5) You have difficulty sleeping due to work on your mind an average of 2x week or more.
6) Your identity is totally wrapped up in your career or company; if you didn't have your job you don't know who you would be.
7) You think you will be happy (have arrived) when you have finally achieved a certain monetary level or position/title.
8) You will usually cancel a personal engagement for a work priority.
9) You may be sad or depressed but probably don't know it because you are too busy to slow down and feel anything.
10) You take responsibility for everyone else's work in addition to yours - no one can do it as well as you. Delegation is not something you do well so you work late to get it all done.
11) Success at your career will make everyone else happy except yourself.
12) Your job conflicts with your values.
13) Your friends complain they can't count on you to be there for them or have given up on you altogether.
14) You feel tight inside your body a good part of the time.
15) You constantly worry about work-related issues, focusing on those things you don't want to happen.
16) You have a need to prove your worth and think you can do that with the next project, book, promotion, etc.
17) You are often irritable or short-tempered.
18) You haven't taken a week's vacation in the last 6 months.
19) When you go on vacation, you stay connected with work via phone, beeper or laptop.
20) Your spouse or significant other has forgotten what you look like or you don't think you have time for a significant relationship.
21) You love your career so much that you don't think you need time for anything else. *************************************************************
THE GIFT OF YOU
By Deb Elkin
I first wrote this article in the winter of 1998. Recently, as I have been working with my clients, I find the theme of, "Who am I? Do I have any real worth? And who cares anyway?" coming up again and again. And I have found myself sharing with them one of my very favorite quotes of Martha Graham, which is quoted here in this story. So I thought perhaps it was time to share it with you all again. I hope it continues to inspire you to be the best that you can be, to not hold yourself back, to give the universe the gift of you. Martha Graham, a modern dancer and choreographer, was a wonderful example of "living out your dreams." Born in 1894, she was prevented by her very strict father from going to dance school. So she waited until after he died, then enrolled in dance school in Los Angeles in 1916, at the age of 22. She made her professional debut four years later and went on to develop her own approach to dance. By the 1950's she was internationally recognized as the leading American choreographer of interpretive dance. She danced until she was 75 years old and taught and choreographed almost until her death at the ripe old age of 97! The following is a quote of hers from Dance to the Piper, a book written in 1952 by Agnes de Mille, another preeminent 20th century American choreographer. It speaks to the very specialness of each and every one of us. There is a vitality, a life force, an energy,
A quickening
That is translated through you into action,
and because there is only one of you
in all of time
this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist
Through any other medium,
And will be lost.
The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine
How good it is, nor how valuable,
Nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours
Clearly and directly,
To stay open and aware
To the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open. This is not just about dancers and about art. It is about all of us. It is about living. It is about being. It is about sharing yourself with the world. What a challenge it is to live from that place, to live from the belief that if you do not share yourself with the world, the gift of you will be lost and the world will not have it! How many of you actually get what a gift you are? Just because you exist, you are a gift! Wouldn't it be exciting to live in the world thinking, knowing, that you are a gift. Imagine how different your life would be! Everyone of us brings our own unique self and our own unique talents to this world. And please know that "talents" doesn't have to mean you are gifted in some special arena. Your talent may be your inner qualities - your nurturing abilities, your listening abilities, your honesty and trustworthiness. It may be your ability to solve problems, to organize, or to make things happen. It may be your ability to make people laugh, to tell wonderful stories, or to create a warm, loving home environment. These are all gifts. It is important for us to expand our definition of what our gifts and talents may look like. In doing so, we may be able to more easily see and claim what are gifts are. So the first challenge is to recognize what your gifts are. - Take some time to reflect and journal on what your special talents are.
- Ask your family what they see as your special gifts.
- Ask your friends what they see as your special gifts.
Often we need to go outside of ourselves for feedback because we don't see as easily what others might see in us.Next, we need to claim these gifts as our own. - Take time to really acknowledge them. (Hey, I AM a really good listener, I AM a great cook, I AM a good organizer, I AM.....)
- Let yourself really take it in. These are the things that make you special. They are the things that make you who you are.
- Be proud of these things! Feel your energy swell and get bigger as you claim them. Imagine yourself living in the world from this place!
And finally, live them out loud. - If they are your gift, you are supposed to be sharing them with the world. Do it!
- Watch people become more attracted to you as you share your gifts.
- Feel yourself enjoy life more as you live from this place of claiming yourself out loud.
So, I invite you, as Martha Graham says, to "keep your channel open." *************************************************************
If something in this newsletter resonates with you and you would like support moving forward with it, Deb and Stacey are available for consultation. As your dream coach, Stacey will partner with you to help you clarify and make your dreams a reality. To set up a free phone consultation and find out if coaching is right for you, contact Stacey at coach@balancedliving.com or call 770-643-0886. Phone and in-person coaching is available. http://www.balancedliving.com. Stacey can speak to your group on a variety of topics. Call now to discuss your needs.
Deb is available for private sessions to help work through the unresolved issues of your life and brings a spiritual perspective to this healing process. For a free 30 minute consultation or for an appointment (by phone or in person), you can reach her at 404-320-9548 or email her at delkin@mindspring.com ************************************************************* Copyright 2000, Center for Balanced Living Inc, and Winged Spirit, Inc.
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