LIVING OUT YOUR DREAMS
Welcome to the April/May edition of LIVING OUT YOUR DREAMS.
In this edition, we both focus on slightly different aspects of being present in the moment and the life-altering effect that doing this can bring. We didn't realize we were both going to write on this topic, but we are both reading the book, "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle and it is having a profound difference in our lives. Each article has a slightly different twist. Stacey's article talks about how to release our obsession with attaining our goals and stay focused in the now. Deb talks about the power of reframing problems into situations and dealing with them in the now.
Please forward this newsletter to anyone you think would enjoy it. If this newsletter has been forwarded to you and you would like to subscribe, send a blank email to LivingOutYourDreams-On@lists.webvalence.com; to unsubscribe, send an email to LivingOutYourDreams-Off@lists.webvalence.com. If you would like to correspond with us directly, contact Deb at delkin@mindspring.com or Stacey at coach@balancedliving.com.
With love and respect,
Stacey and Deb
In this issue: - Peace of Mind on a Daily Basis
- Congratulations: Dreams in the Making
UPCOMING EVENTS: NEW TRANSFORMATIONAL TOOL: EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE (EFT).
Join us in this exciting one-day workshop to learn this extraordinary new technique for balancing the body's energy to release fears and anxieties, eliminate food cravings, shift disempowering beliefs, enhance self-esteem, remove public speaking jitters and much, much more. This workshop is beneficial for anyone who wants more freedom from their own emotional issues and for practitioners such as coaches, therapists, consultants etc. who want a new tool that will make a big difference with your clients. Saturday June 9 from 10:00 - 5:00 in Atlanta. For more info, contact Stacey at 770.643.0886 or request an email flyer by sending your name and phone number to coach@balancedliving.com
WOMEN'S THERAPY GROUP -
There are currently two openings in Deb's Monday evening therapy group. This is a group for women who are needing a safe place to talk with other women about the problems in their lives. Deb is a Licensed Professional Counselor and has been leading groups for over 20 years. To find out more about this group, please call Deb Elkin, LPC, at 404-320-9548.
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NOW VS. WHEN
By Stacey Mayo
I have come to realize that one of the single biggest factors that gets in the way of our enjoyment of the present is the future. We are a goal-obsessed society and it is that obsession to the outcome of our goals that keeps us from being happy in the present.
Don't get me wrong, as a Dream Coach I am all for people having goals. As a matter of fact, I work with people on a daily basis to create a future vision of what they want their life to be about and determine the steps to make that happen. The problem comes when there is so much attachment to the outcome, that the lack of it, takes up a large amount of 'mind time' - also known as worrying.
As human beings we can get attached to a lot of things - i.e. having a great body, making $$$$$, living a certain lifestyle, having a fulfilling career, meeting your soul mate, etc. All of these things are terrific goals to have. But how much time do you spend worrying or fretting over the fact that you have not reached your goal yet? How much time do you spend beating yourself up by saying "there must be something wrong with me, or tell yourself "I should be here by now."
It is the time spent worrying about the future that is not only pointless, but counterproductive to the very thing you think that this goal will bring you -- happiness, joy, fulfillment, security, etc. For while reaching the goal will feel good and bring you a sense of satisfaction, the attainment of it in and of itself, will not bring you long lasting inner peace. That can only come from inside.
But my main point today is that the time spent worrying about the future is precious time you are not enjoying. You are not enjoying it because your mind is not being with what is great about the here and now. And need I point out that if your mind is in the future then you are focused on the destination rather than enjoying the journey? This is a life-long lesson for most of us.
So how can you set goals and enjoy the journey to living them out?
Here are some ideas to help you along the way:
1) Set your goals and then visualize your life as if you had already attained them. Allow yourself to enjoy that vision and let it bring a smile to your face. Do this often.
2) Don't keep pulling up the flowers to look at the roots. In other words, don't keep wondering why it is not here yet. Just keep plugging along and trusting that it is on its way to you.
3) Allow your goals and vision to inspire you to take action.
4) Focus on the action steps you are taking in the moment. That is a way to work toward your goal yet remain the in present.
5) Have fun with these steps. If they are not fun, find a way to make them fun, or put them aside and do other things that feel right in the moment.
6) The journey to reaching your goals is not forced. Allow it to flow by doing the things you are inspired to do that will lead you to your path.
7) If you notice yourself worrying about the future outcome, gently bring yourself back and focus on what you are doing now or on what is so great about this present moment. (It can be simple things like the sound of the birds chirping, the fact you have a roof over your head, etc. ) Or simply focus on your breath and the fact you are alive. Being in touch with your aliveness and in touch with your source energy is being present in the moment.
8) Be patient with yourself. You may start out being present 2 minutes out of 8 hours. Let that be okay. Every time you realize you are worrying about the future, you have just brought yourself back to the present. And remember this too is a journey.
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PEACE OF MIND ON A DAILY BASIS
by Deb Elkin
A few weeks ago I stopped into one of my favorite small book stores. I'd been feeling quite lost lately and I was looking for something to read that might inspire me, might speak to me, might help me move through this place, or at least understand it better. Nancy, the owner of the store, scanned her bookshelves and went fairly quickly to "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle. She told me two people who had read it had told her it had been life transforming for them. That sounded pretty good to me!
Although I'm not even half way through the book, in its own quiet, almost subtle way, it actually is feeling life transforming to me. It is bringing me peace of mind on an almost daily basis - it hopefully will be daily when I remember to pay more attention.
I am learning that we have a choice in how we respond to the situations and events that present themselves to us on a daily basis. We tend to label things as "problems" and that keeps them very much on our minds both in the present and usually well into the future too. It takes up much of our time and energy, thinking, worrying. We often get very attached to our problems and have a hard time letting go of them. Needless to say, when we do that, it takes us away from our ability to enjoy ourselves and our lives right now .
But when life events present themselves to us, we can also see them as "situations." And when we have situations, we can deal with them now, or we can leave them alone, put them aside, and just accept them as part of what is, until they change, or until they can be dealt with. In this way, a situation can be put aside, whereas a problem stays with us and often takes us over.
Tolle puts out an interesting challenge. "Focus your attention on the Now and tell me what problem you have at this moment." Stop and think about that, what problem you have in THIS moment.
When you narrow it down to "this moment" (which is truly all we ever really have), not tomorrow or thirty minutes from now, do you have a problem, right now?
Chances are, if you are honest, and if you can let go, the answer will be "no" much or even most of the time. And if the answer is yes, reframe it to the paradigm of having a situation that needs to be handled. Then decide if there is anything you can do right now. If not, let it go, come back to the moment, and enjoy yourself!
This is what feels life changing for me. On a regular basis, several times throughout each day, I have been asking myself, "Do I have a problem right now, right this second?" The answer has been "no" almost every single time! What a sense of freedom it is bringing me, over and over again! Every time I feel a sense of angst or dis-ease, I ask myself that question, and when I realize there is no problem, right now, I find myself taking a deep breath and relaxing. If there is something going on, I either pay attention and see what it is I can do to handle it right now, or I breathe it away, to be handled later when I can really do something about it or do need to think about it.
I find myself appreciating myself and life so much more. There's much more space for gratitude. I remember to smile at the flowers and blue sky and warm spring air. I unknit my brow. I breathe deeper. I am much more peaceful these days and I can't tell you how good that feels! Please remember, I'm not saying there aren't things that cause me grief or angst, and there are certainly things that need to be attended to. But when I handle them as I can and need to instead of dwelling on them as "problems", they don't take me over and I have much more ease and peace of mind in my life. I encourage you to try it!
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CONGRATULATIONS: DREAMS IN THE MAKING
By Stacey Mayo
A heartwarming congratulations to Maureen Carter for getting accepted in the Masters in Social Work program at Georgia State University. Maureen is planning to change from her current career in the military to her dream of working with and helping families and victims of domestic violence. Maureen has been on the journey of finding her life's work and her own personal growth for some time now. In this process, she has evolved to be so much more of the magnificent woman she truly is. Indeed she is not the same person Deb and I knew several years or even months ago. Maureen, thanks for your commitment and persistence. You are an inspiration to us all.
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If something in this newsletter resonates with you and you would like support moving forward with it, Deb and Stacey are available for consultation.
As your dream coach, Stacey partners with executives, professionals and entrepreneurs to empower you to clarify your dreams and make them a reality. To schedule a free phone consultation and find out if coaching is right for you, contact Stacey at coach@balancedliving.com or call 770.643.0886. Phone and in-person coaching are available. http://www.balancedliving.com
Deb is available for private counseling sessions to help work through the unresolved issues of your life and brings a spiritual perspective to this healing process. For a free 30 minute consultation or for an appointment (by phone or in person), you can reach her at 404.320.9548 or email her at delkin@mindspring.com
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