Who do you need to be to get what you want? Asking for what you want increases your chances.

Welcome to KristinCoach.com NEWS - Magnetic Living
June 13, 2003.
Written by life and career coach, KristinCoach.
Past issues are available at the newsletter section of the website.

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This FREE newsletter is intended to inspire and catalyze you into designing a life so thrilling and juicy you can barely stand yourself. Please pass it along to friends/colleagues so you will not be the only thrilling and juicy person in your world! I am glad you are here.

Welcome.

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The Juicy Topics In This Issue Are......

1. Welcome!
2. Quotes
3. Feature Article - Who Do You Need to Be?
4. TRY THIS/Lifework
5. Coaching Offer

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1. Welcome
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Welcome back! It's been awhile since my last edition of this newsletter. Sorry! I promise to write more frequently. I'd also like to keep you updated on the book I'm working on and will add a section to the newsletter, next time, to ask you for feedback on some of the chapters.

Also, my e-courses are going strong. The DAILY support feature is going very, very well so I'm offering it again for JULY e course participants. YIPPEE!! If you'd like to sign up, please go to http://www.kristincoach.com/ecourses.html

Read on and enjoy!

PS. For a daily dose of coaching thoughts, http://www.morningmantra.com

Kristin

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2. Quotes
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"Ask, ask, ask, until all your dreams come true"
- The Aladdin Factor

"If your success is not on your own terms, if it looks good to the
world but does not feel good in your heart, it is not success at
all."
- Anna Quindlen

"The indispensable first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: decide what you want."
-Ben Stein

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3. Feature Article: Who Do You Need to Be?
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"Go ahead and ask for what you want! You deserve it." I hear myself giving this advice to so many of my clients. So, it makes me think some of you reading this article might be able to identify. DO you? Either way, please read on.

For example, Sue has been talking with me for weeks about her desire to earn more money at work. She is the top sales performer, praised by her bosses and thought of as a star. Yet, her salary left much to be desired. Even though she worked her tail off, she earned less than many of her colleagues. WHY? It was a mystery to her, but not to me.

I experienced the SAME situation when I started out in my career as a recruiter. I remember being hired by a recruiting company, right out of college. After running circles around some of the veterans in the office and consistently recruiting high numbers of candidates, I was shocked to discover another new employee was earning much more money, even though he produced less. Was this an oversight? Surely, I'd get an increase if I simply brought it to their attention. And so I did. Here's what I heard:

"Kristin, we think you're great! You are one of the top performers in the office...yadda...yadda." Well, you get the idea. However, they said they would not raise my salary since I was right out of college and earning what new college grads earn in their company. The other new employee earned more since he ASKED for it in advance. He negotiated a better deal. He ASKED for what he needed. As a married guy with kids, he really didn't have the luxury of earning a lower salary than what he needed. Even though he did not have prior recruiting experience, he was earning a salary comparable to the "old timers" in the office.

Here's my point. You MUST ask for what you want and need. At work. At home. At the dentist's office. EVERYWHERE. People will constantly make assumptions about you and try to put you into categories. Either you're the young one at work, or the woman, or the single guy, or whatever. Refuse to be categorized. Here's my FAVORITE rule: "Statistics don't apply to ME. I invent my own." I don't care if every new college grad in the entire history of that recruiting company earned a paltry salary, I absolutely refused to continue earning LESS than what I deserved. So, after asking for what I REALLY needed, I ended up getting it. Like Dad once told me, "You can't argue with top performance. People will want to reward you if you are good at what you do. The only trick is, you have to ask for it." (ps. my dad is the original morning mantra, he has great thoughts!)

So, let's get back to Sue. She's a shining star. Yet, she's earning the salary of a fading cloud. Not much. It grates on her, too. It really, really bugs her. Would her boss recognize her with a huge bonus? Nope. Maybe a promotion? Not gonna happen. She waited and waited.

Then, after a pep talk from her coach (me), Sue finally decided to take charge. She saw this whole thing from another light.

"Sue," I asked, "I am curious. I notice you continue to accept less than what you deserve at work, and complain about it a lot. You know that 2 of your lesser star-like coworkers are making 10K more than you. Any ideas why?

She quickly said, "Well, one of them started at a higher salary (my side note: good for her, what a negotiator!) The other one has a daughter in college and she really only works for the money to pay tuition. I remember when her son started college last year too. She asked for a raise and got it."

Hmmm...So, it looks like they were really clear about what they needed to feel good about working there, right?

"What's your reason?" I asked. "Why do you need the extra money?"

Sue was quiet for a minute. "I guess I really don't need it. I pay all of my bills on time and have learned to live with what I earn. It would be nice to have more money, though, of course."

So, I asked another question: "Why do you DESERVE it?"

More silence. "Well, I outperform most people in my similar position, so I'd expect to make more money as a reward. In fact, most people performing at my same level are earning at least 5-10K more. I should get a raise. That's fair, right?"

Well of course it is! But, as most of us know, the world really is not always fair. Especially the corporate world.

Here's my next question for Sue. "I keep seeing you struggle with this money thing week after week and you still haven't asked for a raise. Is there someone else who could stand in your shoes and get this handled TODAY? In other words, WHO WOULD YOU NEED TO BE TO GET YOUR RAISE APPROVED SOON? If your co-worker with the 2 kids in college stepped into your star performer shoes, could she get your raise for you?"

"Probably so," Sue muttered.

I promise you, there are many people who could step into Sue's shoes and get that raise handled. Someone could step into YOUR shoes and get something valuable for you, too. Do you agree? The trick is to figure out what qualities that person has, that you might not have. Then, develop those qualities.

Let's look at some qualities.

The co-worker, with the 2 kids in college, probably has these 2 qualities:

1. She's focused. She works for money to pay for school.
2. She's confident. She knows the value she provides at work.

Being FOCUSED on a specific goal is probably THE best quality to have when you are asking for what you want. When you have a goal or purpose, you're not messing around! You don't have time to play games. You know exactly what you need to make financially and you shoud make sure you DO earn it.

So, what about YOU? What if you don't have a specific goal or a strong reason to earn more money or to get what you want in other areas of your life? Either CREATE one or PRETEND YOU DO have a goal already! I'm telling you, ANYONE with a strong focus on a goal will find a way to get what he or she need. I see this all the time with my clients.

Pretend you are a 50 year old guy with 5 kids in college, a parent in a high dollar nursing home, and loads of financial obligations. Then, make sure you are actually good at your job (that's important!) and ASK for what you need. In reality, you might be single with little financial obligations, but mentally PRETEND you are the 50 year old guy. Go get what you need to make ends meet. This may sound wacky, but it's the very same strategy I created for myself when I was grossly underpaid. It worked, too.

No matter what happens, you always increase your chances of getting what you want if you ASK for it. You might not always get it, but you'll be closer and you'll be developing the critical skill of confidence by practicing. So ask away! No matter what you want, whether it's at work, home, or with friends, go get what you know you deserve.

PS. It's important for me to mention AGAIN how critical it is to be REALLY great at your job to earn more money (unless you are underpaid now). So, if you want more money but don't truly think you deserve it yet, focus on being a top performer and then go ask for what you want! In fact, the first step of asking for what you want financially could be to ask for more responsibility so you can truly show off your skills. Just ask, ask, ask.

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4. Lifework
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Check out a great book that will encourage you to ask for what you want. The Aladdin Factor by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen.

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5. Coaching Offer
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Coaching Offer:

How would you like to have direction and focus? If someone could guide you and help you create an amazing life, would you be interested? Would it be valuable to be able to check in with someone as much as you'd like for support or a kick in the rear? Past participants have overwhelmingly raved about the "personal support and focus" provided in my E-Course. **July participants will also get FREE daily email reminders.** I'd love for you to get amazing results, too. To sign up, go to: http://www.KristinCoach.com/ecourses.html

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Ready to BECOME the highest version of yourself?

Kristin is a life and career coach who THRIVES on seeing people get exactly what they want out of life. She has been interviewed for publications such as Entrepreneur's Magazine, Woman's Day, MSN.com, Marie Claire and is a coaching expert for iVillage.com. Most importantly, Kristin found a way to do what she loves without ever having to wear pantyhose and a suit to an office again!. Life changes, people change. BE WILLING to reinvent yourself. BE OPEN to becoming the highest version of yourself. You may be surprised at what/who you find.


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