Fear and Safety.

Welcome to KristinCoach.com NEWS - Magnetic Living
April 12, 2004
Written by life and career coach: http://www.KristinCoach.com
To view this copy online or review past issues, go to:
http://zines.webvalence.com/sites/magneticliving/

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This FREE Newsletter is intended to inspire you.
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The Juicy Topics In This Issue Are......

1. Welcome!
2. Quotes
3. Feature - Fear and Safety.
4. Coaching offer

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1. Welcome
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Hello! Welcome back! We had a great Easter celebration this weekend in Texas. Hope you had a relaxing weekend, too. Enjoy the feature article, it's about FEAR. Please pass this newsletter along to anyone you think might benefit from the message. Also, to enroll in my 12 week coaching ecourse (starts this week), please go to:

http://www.KristinCoach.com/ecourses.html

Warmly,

KristinCoach.

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2. Quotes I completely AGREE with:
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"Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." - Frank Herbert

"You gain strength, experience and confidence by every experience where you really stop to look fear in the face . . . You must do the thing you cannot do." - Eleanor Roosevelt

"The experience of overcoming fear is extraordinarily delightful."
- Bertrand Arthur William Russell

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3. Feature Article: Fear and Safety
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People are scared. Some fear failure, others fear success. Some fear change, others fear complacency. Making mistakes or a fool of oneself is also frightening. Overall, people are just plan scared.

A month or so ago, I polled my readers and asked what was preventing them from living their purpose. The OVERWELMING answer was this: FEAR. Nearly 300 people emailed me with details of their fears. I was floored by the responses. In fact, I decided I'd write an article about it (this one) and struggled to find the angle or succinct message I wanted to share with you all. So, I took a little drive to get the juices flowing. Guess what I saw along the way?

It was a truck with a bumper sticker that read:

SAFETY IS MY GOAL.

Wow. I think this is the motto for the masses. We are driven to remain "safe" at any cost. It's SUCH a strong need/desire, right? However, in an attempt to remain "safe" many people allow their dreams to pass on by.

Now, I could simply say....Don't worry about safety! Go for it and forget about your fears. However, I know that's not practical advice. While I do believe you have to move past your fears, I realize it's tough to forget about them. It's even harder to ignore the strong biological urge to remain safe.

Even though people's fears are different, they're really all the same. Pretty much anything that challenges our "safety" is scary. For example: You might hate your job, yet you're "fearful" of taking a chance on a new one in case it doesn't work out. Or, you've mapped out your business plan but never put it into action since you "fear" it might fail and you'll be penniless or humiliated. You'd love to speak up in meetings more frequently, but you don't. "Fear" of saying something wrong or unpopular keeps you silent instead.

Does any of this apply to you? If you're honest with yourself, I think you'll find some sort of fear in your life right now. What do YOU fear the most and how's that driving your live now? It is.

Let's talk about that bumper sticker again...the one about SAFETY. I'm all for it, actually. Safety is a cool thing. I think the trick is to "reframe" what SAFE really means, though. Let me share some personal examples with you. Ahh yes, I know you love it. Bear with me.

When I was 24, after working for an executive recruiting firm for a year, I decided to start my own firm. I remember the day I quit. My formerly supportive boss harshly said "You'll never make it. You're too young." I was stunned and scared. But, I packed my bags and started my new venture anyway. The rush of fears started to invade my body. "Would I fail? Am I too young to own a business recruiting executives? Etc." Of course, many of these "fears" were inspired by some of the messages I encountered whenever I announced my plans to friends, family etc. It seemed as though everyone was scared FOR me. Fear was everywhere.

On the first day, in my new office, I remember feeling excited and SCARED. All alone in my new work space, I cried a little too. But, I had a job to do and I jumped right in. I gave myself an initial 30 day goal to focus on, which I eventually met. With each met goal, my confidence increased. Eventually, the fear was replaced with confidence and a "knowing" that all would be OK and I would in fact "make it". I realized that fear can easily be replaced with other more inspiring emotions. The trick to is identify a series of actions that will, once met, make you feel more secure. In my case, closing a deal in 30 days gave me the boost I needed to keep going. I focused on my 30 day goal and built my confidence and my business from there, one month at a time.

I also had some great advice from my Dad. "If you aren't somewhat scared when you do something big and new, you're not really growing." FEAR meant growth and I was all over it. Fear is also fleeting. It's a temporary hurdle.

You see, for me, SAFETY was being in charge of my own destiny. Working for someone else may "seem" safe to others, but for me it was not. I felt much more SAFE working for myself, even though it was scary. I was fearful, but I was also living up to that universal motto: Safety is My Goal. I made personal growth (aka, facing my fears) feel SAFE to me. I also created a plan to boost my confidence along the way.

Here's my point. I want you to look at your fear and FIND A WAY to see it from a SAFETY standpoint. Align with your need to be safe. Then, move through your fears and feel great about it! The more you do that, the more you'll grow. And, GROWTH equals SAFETY! (this is your new favorite motto) Keep growing and you'll have a great life. Stop growing and the movers and shakers of the world will trample you.

Another example: Let's say you FEAR making a fool of yourself in a meeting. You never speak up, even though you have some sage wisdom to offer the team. Right now, you're probably thinking it would be "safer" to remain silent. Don't rock the boat, right? Let's flip that assumption, though. Think about how much more CONFIDENT you'll be when you speak up more often. Sure, your ideas may not fly, but that's OK. It's not about your ideas, it's about your willingness to speak up and share your thoughts. The more you do this, the more confident you'll become. Who's more secure than a confident person? Security equals safety. Voila. Safety is your goal.

Focus on the fact that the more confident you are, the more likely you'll get promotions, move along your career path etc. Remaining silent (or small) in today's world is not safe at all.

I've got another one for you. Do you fear "making a mistake or failing"? I hear this one all the time! "I'd love to start a new business, but what if I make a mistake and lose my savings and end up penniless or homeless on the street?"

Where's the SAFETY in that example? In this case, it's your job to build a SAFETY NET. Make sure you have a reserve of money in the bank to absorb the shock of "failing", in case this actually does happen. Get the training you'll need for your new business to ensure you're skilled enough to offer a quality product or service. There are many steps you can take to build your safety net. The next obvious step is to get up on the trapeze (so to speak) and start walking, knowing the safety net is below. It won't feel AS scary with a net below you. Give it your all and if you fall, get right back up and keep trying. That's the best you can do. I promise you'll become more skilled with each attempt and the fears will dissipate the more your experience grows In the end, your new biz may succeed or FAIL. The key is to make "failing" as non-scary as possible. So, build your safety nets. Even if your new biz tanks, you'll still have the personal growth you picked up along the way. Your inner self will strengthen every single time you face a fear, no matter what the outcome.

No matter what you fear, you can face it. Think about all of the growth that'll happen when you DO. Remaining small, silent or stuck is really not an option for you anymore. It's not working for you and we both know that.

Yes, safety is your goal. The best way I know to remain "safe" in this rapidly changing world is to keep growing. So, feel scared and cry if you must, it's natural. . But, face those fears, create your safety nets and keep growing by taking chances each day. Beginning now......What FEAR will you face today?

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4. Coaching Offers! Limited space in each.
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April 12th Start (you may enroll through April 16th) -
12 Weeks E Course - Create an amazing life with focused lessons and personal support from moi. I love this course. If you have not taken it, you're missing out. Sign up for $79-$99/mo
http://www.KristinCoach.com/ecourses.html

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PHONE COACHING (2 spots open) -
Contact me for a sample session if you'd like to begin phone coaching. Reply to this broadcast with a brief note and I'll send you scoop and rate information. I also have a team of coaches if you want a referral.

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Ready to BECOME the highest version of yourself?

Kristin is a life and career coach who THRIVES on seeing people get exactly what they want out of life. She is the resident expert for iVillage.com's Work channel, an online community of over 11 million people. You'll also see Kristin quoted in publications such as Entrepreneur Magazine, Cosmopolitan, Family Circle, and MSN.com. Life changes, people change. BE WILLING to reinvent yourself. BE OPEN to becoming the highest version of yourself.

http://www.KristinCoach.com
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