Your Twice-Monthly
Dose of Sanity:

For heaven's sake...leave your medicine at the office or hospital!

Whats in a Name?

One weekend my friend Sally, a nurse, was looking after her six-year-old nephew when he fell off a playground slide and hit his head. Worried that he might have a concussion, she checked him all night. Every hour, she'd gently shake him and ask, "What's your name?"

Soon, he began moaning in protest each time she entered the room.

When Sally went in at 5:00 A.M., she found something white on his forehead.

Leaning close, she saw a crayon-scrawled message taped to his forehead. It
read: "My name is Daniel."

Get another dose of laughter at RFS' Daily Dose of Sanity or the wild colon humor site Crack U Up!

Got a funny medical joke or photo to share? Email it to us, and if we use it here, we'll give you credit!

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Folks in medicine will eat anything the drug reps bring...almost!

Signs Seen on Doors:

Sign over a gynecologist's office:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."

Door to endoscopy:
"To expedite your visit, please back in"

Door of a plastic surgeon's office:
"Hello. Can we pick your nose?"

On a maternity room door:
"Push. Push. Push."

At an optometrist's office:
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

In a podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."

In the front yard of a funeral home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait "

Passionate HealthCare:
Love Caregiving, Just For The Health of It!
www.RxForSanity.com Vol. 3, Issue No. 3
By subscription only! Please forward this ezine to any HCP (Health Care Professional) you know who needs to regain their joy in their career. Then they can sign up for their own subscription, as our gift!

Passionate HealthCare seeks to rekindle your joy in your medical career. Your only cost for this prescription? Please comment, complain or educate us twice a year at PLRaymond@RxForSanity.com.

Hello again, HCPs-
Now I have proof positive that I'm practicing medicine in the South ... just this week I explained something astonishing to an elderly fellow, and he replied "Well, butter my bottom, and call me a biscuit!"

While I didn't honor that startling request (no butter available), I challenge all with vintage tushes to call for an appointment to have their bottoms buttered to honor colon cancer awareness month this March!

Bottoms up,

Pat Raymond M.D. FACP FACG
Chief Enjoyment Officer, Rx For Sanity

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Choose Your Chews: More Mastication

There are five easy steps to a healthy diet:
1. List your ten favorite foods.
2. List your five favorite beverages
3. List all green vegetables that look like marsh grass, fur balls, or little trees.
4. List water
5. Avoid 1 & 2; eat only 3; drink only 4.

We have previously chewed over the out-of proportion benefits of consuming crucifers (broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage, and Brussels sprouts), tomatoes, garlic and olive oil. Now we’ll move on to some other favorite foods, which in contrast to the crucifer class actually don’t resemble marsh grass, fur balls, or little trees.

I don’t care if you whine, you’re not getting more. Recent studies show that drinking one glass of red wine every day may have certain health benefits. Research indicates that moderate red wine consumption may help protect against certain cancers and heart disease, and can have a positive effect on cholesterol levels and blood pressure. Red wines contain several antioxidants that are responsible for its healing powers.

The key to reaping the health benefits of red wine seems to be moderate consumption. Drinking one glass a day for women and up to two glasses a day for men may decrease the risk of heart disease, cancer and stroke. Excessive or binge drinking, however, doesn't produce the same benefits. In other words, when it comes to red wine: more is not better.

Something’s fishy here. We now advise broiled or baked fish three times a week—you lose points if they’re batter dipped and fried. The benefits? Cardiovascular health, decreased stroke, and a possible reduction of Alzheimer disease risk. The key seems to be the omega 3 fish oil.

But before you run out to the mega market for a monstrous case of omega 3 capsules, there seems to be more to this. In surprising studies in which researchers fed fish protein to older (non-fish) animals, the older animals began to produce proteins as if they were younger. Cool, but as yet unexplained. Other studies suggest that the more fish you eat, the less likely you are to be depressed.

Nuts to you! Nuts have amazing properties, as 1.5 oz contain 6.6 grams of protein (the same amount as one egg), 2.8 grams of fiber (the same as ≤ c strawberries), and is a source of the vital trace minerals magnesium, manganese, and copper.

A handful a day can prevent heart attacks, block buildup of bad cholesterol, and contain the growth of cancer cells. In March 2003 after a ten year review of the data, the FDA approved the statement that ֫.5 oz of nuts daily may reduce risk of coronary artery disease’.

With apologies to filbert fans, the best nut overall seems to be the walnut. With more omega 3 fatty acids than any other nut, they are one of the most abundant sources of antioxidants including ellagic acid, a phytonutrient that inhibits the growth of cancer cells. Sterols in these nuts have been shown to block absorption of cholesterol in your bloodstream. So chow down on your share of the 250,000 tons of walnuts harvested in the U.S. each year.

Nuts! I’ve still got too much material to clean my plate this month.

Next month, we’ll tackle whole grains, spinach, blueberries, soy, and the health-harming nature of salt, sugar, and simple carbohydrates. Until next time, try to not eat too much junk!

Americans will eat garbage,
provided you sprinkle it liberally with ketchup.
~ Henry Miller

Did you like today's article?
If you did, you'll love my book Don't Jettison Medicine, available at RxForSanity.com and Amazon.com.

Want to share some sanity in your medical newsletter? This article may be freely reprinted (see details at the bottom), and more of Dr. Raymond's most popular editorials are yours at Rx For Sanity Articles and at DontJettisonMedicine.com

Your Sanity Thought for the Day:

A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative.

A ‘Pat’ on the back to…

Drs. Heather Kirkpatrick and Barbara Joyce, whose presentation at the National American Medical Women's Association meeting in late January entitled 'Hestia, Hippocrates & Me' illuminated the 'double-bind' conflicts of professional women. Should I be pretty or smart? Proud or modest? Career driven or family centered? Their cognitive coping model assisted in reality testing these messages and discovering for ourselves that often our best choice is a blend. Atta girls!

Laugh your fears away...

Don't Let This Happen To You ... In my experience, I see dozens of patients each year who have put off their colonoscopy because of fear or embarrassment, only to be forced into it when it was already too late… they had developed colon cancer.

Suppose you want help your patients to get their colonoscopy. Instead of harping on the threat of colon cancer and having them dig in their heels to avoid colonoscopy, why not use humor to gently de-sensitize them and lead them to screening with a smile? And isn’t that what you really want?

A Special Invitation. In preparation for Colon Cancer Awareness Month this March, I invite you to stock up on Crack U Up books or butt-ons, and humorously lead your patients and friends to get their vital and life-saving colonoscopy. Choose between:

Bulk purchase copies of Colonoscopy: It’ll Crack U Up, a comprehensive yet pocket-sized 64 page colonoscopy joke anthology featuring the finest in inoffensive bottom humor. Regularly $5 each, now you may bulk purchase these gems at only $100 for 40 books - a 50% savings! Great for waiting rooms and recovery areas as well as a gift!	Buckets of Crack U Up Lapel Buttons- reminding strangers on the street to flash their vertical smile for colon cancer screening. Get 100 pins for just $40, 250 pins for $92.50, or 500 pins for $175.

Place your order online at the Sanity Store! Simply request the number of books or buttons you need. We’ll recalculate the charges honoring our March bulk pricing, add the postage, and send you a corrected invoice! It’s up to you to ensure that your patients, family, and friends receive their vital colonoscopy. Limited time only! This offer expires midnight March 1, 2005.

I don't mean to keep harranging those medical smokers...

Last issue, we disclosed that 16% of nurses smoke, and that the smoking led to hard feelings on the unit. A HCP reader agrees on how resentment smolders:
"You know how the pace goes in nursing. Breaks are rare and if there is an opportunity, it’s for a quick sip of coffee & a cracker. Staff that leave the unit for a break, quickly get black balled by the others that pick up the pace for them. I have interviewed hard core smoking applicants before for jobs on our ward. Explained the rare break opportunities that we have – without addressing the smoking issue - & they have all said no problem. Not wanting to break the equal opportunity rule, I frequently pray that a more qualified candidate comes along. Fortunately, my prayers have been answered." (Name withheld)

But news just out from the Netherlands tells us of worse consequences than unit discontent.

Researchers from statistics agency CBS, Netherlands, report that women who smoke experience a greater decrease in life expectancy than men who smoke. A 2003 comparison of Dutch smokers found that a woman's life was shortened by 11 years, versus 3 years for men. The average Dutch woman lives to the age of 81, while the average Dutch man lives to age 76. For cigarette smokers, life expectancy drops to 70 years for women, and to 73 years for men. (Reuters, 1/31/05)

If you're a HCP who smokes, go to Tobaccofreenurses.org and make and keep this resolution for 2005! One final "Sign Seen On Doors", saved up for this occasion:

In a non-smoking area: "If we see smoke,
we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

Our litigious society

First let's kill all the lawyers. Oops, too late.

But it's not just medical malpractice that's at issue. In the Eigth Annual Wacky Warning Label Contest, the Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch asked consumers to nominate ridiculous warning labels that are a sign of our litigious society.

The $500 first prize went to Ed Gyetvai of Oldcastle, Ontario, who submitted a toilet brush label that reads: "Do not use for personal hygiene."

A $250 second prize went to Matt Johnson, of Naperville, Illinois, for a label on a children's scooter that reads: "This product moves when used."

A $100 third prize went to Ann Marie Taylor of Camden, South Carolina, who submitted a warning label from a digital thermometer that said...well, it's too gross to print here. But if you're curious, you can read about it and the rest of the entries at http://www.mlaw.org/wwl/index.html

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Mock medical music

In response to last issue's lead article on bottom buttering, Nancy Loubier directed my attention to the folksy Colorectal Surgeon Song. Not heard it? Just so happens that you can find it at www.Crack-U-Up.com, and click on the 'really odd ends' tab, and turn up those speakers!

If you have more mock medical music to share, flip the website address, wav file, or lyrics to us, and we'll credit you!

It's time to go!

Gastroenterologist, broadcaster, speaker, and writer Patricia L. Raymond MD FACP FACG of Rx For Sanity is author of "Don't Jettison Medicine! Resuscitate Your Passion For The Career You Loved". DJM is a joyous workbook of thirty exercises that will help to resuscitate your passion for caregiving. It's available, along with her unique joke anthology "Colonoscopy: It'll Crack U Up!" at the Sanity Store at www.RxForSanity.com or at Amazon.com.

She is a frequent speaker and workshop leader at national and international conventions, teaching medical caregivers techniques of self-care. As host of NPR's regional live radio program, "Housecalls", she encourages our patients to step up and accept responsibility for their own health, every Friday at noon (EST). You can tune in for live streaming audio!

Attention Meeting Planners! Scheduled already into late 2005, Dr. Raymond brings her passionate message to "Health Yourself" to conventions, local and regional meetings and Grand Rounds. Keep her in mind- even if you have a last minute cancellation. Dr. Pat Raymond delivers high-content, interactive programs that are lots of fun. She gives away great door prizes. And, most importantly, she will make you look good. Call 757-547-0368, write PLRaymond@RxForSanity.com or visit www.RxForSanity.com for details on her programs!

Dr Raymond's Upcoming Seminar Schedule: Will she be in your neighborhood?
Richmond VA 03/04/05
Ft Lauderdale FL 03/12/05
Miami FL 03/26/05
Saratoga NY 04/08-10/05
Springfield MO 04/30/05
Sacramento CA 05/12-13/05
Minneapolis MN 05/15-16/05

  Tell a friend about our nifty website, Rx For Sanity!

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