Your Twice-Monthly
Dose of Sanity:

I always wondered where the pulmonary folks live...
now we all know.

An oldie but a goodie
(credit to Lila Wallis MD MACP)

A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his
patients (predominately male) while he was performing their
colonoscopies:

1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!"
2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
3. "Can you hear me NOW?"
4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
5. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."
6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?
7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."
8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!"
10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
11. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"
12. "God, Now I know why I am not gay."
And the best one of them all...
13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?"

Get another dose of laughter at RFS' Daily Dose of Sanity or the wild colon humor site Crack U Up!

Got a funny medical joke or photo to share? Email it to us, and if we use it here, we'll give you credit!

Yes! I want my own subscription to Passionate HealthCare!

A sign for all to heed...

If it quacks like a duck... (Credit to Roger and Kathy Cawthon of www.TheCancerCrusade.com)

An internist, a surgeon and a pathologist went duck hunting.

When the first bird appeared, the internist watched it carefully and said, "Gentlemen, observe the colorful plumage, the quacking call and the webbed feet." As the bird flew away, the internist continued, "Based on my observations, I would venture that we have seen a duck, but further tests may be necessary before we decide on a course of action."

The other two men were shocked and disappointed at the lost opportunity, and the surgeon even sneered slightly. Before long, another bird appeared. The surgeon took careful aim and shot the bird, which fell to the earth nearby. The surgeon then turned to the pathologist and said, "Run over there and get that, and tell me if it was a duck."

Your Sanity Thought for the Day:

Andy Rooney:

"Vegetarian: That's an old Indian word meaning "lousy hunter".

By subscription only! Please Sendthis ezine to any HCP (Health Care Professional) you know who wants to enhance their joy in their career. Then they can sign up for their own subscription, as our gift!

Passionate HealthCare seeks to resuscitate your passion for your medical career. Your only cost for this prescription? Please comment, complain or educate us twice a year at PLRaymond@RxForSanity.com.

Hello, HCPs!

I've been out of town so much in March that I almost missed the announcement that 'Wedgie' has made it into Webster's New World College Dictionary.

The new edition out this May will carry this listing: wedgie: noun. a prank in which the victim's undershorts are jerked upward so as to become wedged between the buttocks. The dictionary also carries the traditional wedgie definition of a type of shoe.

Great to know that this common school prank has gotten the Webster seal of approval!

Pat Raymond M.D. FACP FACG
Chief Enjoyment Officer, Rx For Sanity

 Yes! I want my own subscription to Passionate HealthCare!

Table of Contents:

A 'Pat' on the Back	The Sanity Store
Bedside Manners	Weird Websites
Health News You Can Use	Mock Medical Music
Where to Meet or Hear Dr Raymond

One. Or More Than One?~a tale for tax-time

The Adaman tribe, inhabiting a tiny island in the tsunami-tossed Bay of Bengal, possesses a unique counting system. Here it is:

One.

More than one.

That’s all. That’s it. If you have one, you’re OK. More than one? You’re wealthy, possessing more than you likely need.

I’ve been working on my prosperity beliefs recently. A member of the Unity Church, we’re taught that prosperity is largely a mind set –that to achieve prosperity you must first believe that you are prosperous, that you are in a climate of plenty.

Sometimes that’s tough. It’s especially hard at tax time. This is the time of year that we gnash our teeth about money we’ve spent foolishly for grande lattes at Starbucks and pneumatic bras at Victoria’s Secret, and clutch the crumbs the feds claim as theirs. I get the mental image of a wrinkled scraggly gnarled old man, dressed in tattered clothes, sitting in the feeble glow of a dripping smoking tallow candle as he caresses his riches. Fondling his gold. We get miserly as we forget that we’re actually prosperous. A mindset of poverty leads to living impoverished.

You are prosperous. No matter what we are speaking of, except perhaps spouses, roadsters, or homes, you likely possess more than one. But do you feel wealthy?

Many of our troubles can be attributed to our lack of prosperous thinking. About two years ago I took a women’s leadership course at the Miraval spa in Arizona. One morning our task was Mindful Eating. We were instructed to take whatever we wished from the exotic and generous breakfast buffet and then take a seat at the main table. We were then instructed in our eating meditation. We were to sit in silence throughout the meal, carefully choosing a bite from our plate, and enjoying the color and appearance of the food. We were to bring it to our nose, and savor the aroma. We then placed the bite in our mouth, and slowly chewed, enjoying both texture and taste of each bite until it had essentially dissolved in our mouths, all flavor sucked from it. We could then swallow, and take a sip to cleanse our palate for the next bite. When we felt full, we were to silently signal the waitperson to remove our plates.

I thoroughly enjoyed my fresh mixed berries, crisp pepper bacon and egg white omelet stuffed with fresh herbs, spinach, and gooey cream cheese—in fact, I can recall that meal two years later. Having only completed half my plate but comfortable sated, I signaled a waiter. I experienced panic as he carried away my plate. I was full, but…. “What if I get hungry before lunch? I’ve got an exhausting day planned-- what if I need that food?”

Poverty mindset in the midst of plenty. I was unlikely to suffer from malnutrition at this luxurious spa with complimentary fruit, smoothies, and cookies everywhere. An ah-ha moment: I was no longer eating for nourishment, but to prevent future lack. How often to we take more than we need in fear of lack?

Do you collect things rather than calories from fear of lack? Grasp the excuse of spring cleaning and really inventory your closet. Do you have one of all that you need, or do you have more than one? When you shop, are you filling your needs, or assuaging a fear of poverty? Or do you just really like shoes? (Not that there’s anything wrong with that…)

A recent commercial chimes “What’s in your wallet?” What do you have—do you know? Do you have a budget, a financial plan? Or do you live with the fear of fighting Felix for the tin of tuna when social security sputters? Do you know if you can ever retire, or when you’ll reach financial freedom- the date that you may continue your health care career simply because you love it? Are you making financial decisions from knowledge and a feeling of prosperity, or just fear of lack?

I encourage you to live large, to embrace prosperity in your life. Give generously and joyfully of your time, talents, and treasures to those who have less than one.

It has been said:
“Wealth is having just a little bit more than what you need.”

You are prosperous. You have more than one.

Did you like today's article?
If you did, you'll love my book Don't Jettison Medicine, available at RxForSanity.com and Amazon.com.
Want to share some sanity in your medical newsletter? This article may be freely reprinted (see details at the bottom), and more of Dr. Raymond's most popular editorials are yours at Rx For Sanity Articles and at DontJettisonMedicine.com

Do you know someone who would enjoy this edition of Passionate HealthCare? We encourage you to Send it to a friend or colleague!

A ‘Pat’ on the back to…

Me! I'll be riding the MS150 (yes, that's 150 MILES) in early June. Spring is a great time to assign yourself the training for an event that supports a cause. As you get forced out into the brisk spring air to exercise, you help others. Should you care to support the cure for Multiple Sclerosis, as well as my aching bottom, you are invited to e-pledge at https://www.nationalmssociety.org//VAX/personal/default.asp?pa=51464915&pd=VAX0EMS120050604VAX

Some feedback from that great ENA Leadership Conference held in Ft Lauderdale midMarch:
"I was so inspired by your presentation and your book that I decided to purchase one for each of our ED docs for Doctor's Day this month. I like to brag, we are a 65 bed acute care community hospital, a small place with big hearts. I don't necessarily think our ED docs are in desperate need, just that they would enjoy and maybe receive some "first aid" versus the full resuscitation. We all work well as a team and I plan on sharing my copy of the book with the nursing staff. Thank you for your inspiration. I am passing your web site around for others to enjoy as well. Your humorous take on what we have a passion for is great!
Who better to understand? " ~Vicki Chitwood, RN, Director Emergency Department/ Asst.CNO, Twin Cities Hospital, FL

Thanks for the feedback, Vickie! Let's grow our passionate community- Send this fun newsletter to five of your colleagues today so that they too can get passionate about healthcare!

The Sanity Store: Announcing the Herbal HealthWreath

Here’s a bright idea!

Nurses Week, May 6th through 12th is coming soon… Are you looking for a great way to honor or celebrate a fellow nurse?

Brighten his/her day with a colorful herbal HealthWreath. Designed by herbal artist MountainFlower’s Susan M., your wreath will be handcrafted in the Blue Ridge Mountains and shipped directly to you or your honoree.

The 16” diameter RFS HealthWreath has been designed to promote healing through a combination of color, fragrance and texture. An enclosed guide explains to your recipient that the wreath’s circular shape symbolizes the continuum of life and health, and the five colors represent the five Feng Shui elements that embody perfect harmony and balance. We also describe the known medicinal uses of the varied flora which make up your wreath: lavender, larkspur, eucalyptus, achillea, red chili, and ixodia. However, please don’t plan to ingest any portion of your gift!

Regularly priced at $67, our introductory price is only $60 if ordered before April 30th to allow timely creation and shipping Just use discount code HWNW. There are no hidden costs- UPS shipping is free!

Celebrate Mother’s Day May 8th. Send out HealthWreaths to demonstrate your love and respect to the influential and caring women in your life!

Yes! Send out my HealthWreath to my mentors, colleagues, friends, and mothers!

Bedside manners: Elevation Awards

Maria Tarrau attended the Miami SGNA conference right before Doctor's Day (May 30) and requested more information on the awards categories used by NorthShore Regional Medical Center in Slidell LO to gently elevate their docs behaviors. She explains, " Our MD's are great, and they always want to be recognized for something. I think this will be fun for us and them!"

For those not in the know, the nurses at NorthShore vote on docs behavior in several categories on each unit, and display their certificate awards on the hospital walls prior to giving the certificates to the docs for their own display. Slidell's program included the categories of congeniality, most compassionate, best dictation, best teacher, best penmanship, best bedside manner, and best phone etiquette.

What other behaviors would be great to acknowledge and encourage in your docs? Any quirky awards to include just for fun? Email your suggestions to PLRaymond@RxForSanity.com and we'll pass along your suggestions!

Weird websites: Clog your arteries whilst strengthening your bones

The people behind the Search for the Greatest Grilled Cheese Sandwich in America (www.grilledcheese-contest.com) were looking for the best of the best. The result is a list of almost 6,000 recipes of our national staple that'll block your LAD just by thinking about them. There is even a low carb division for the South Beach and Atkins followers. The winner? The Caribbean Grill, featuring a mango salsa. Hmmm... Make mine a slab of Velveta on wheat.

If you enjoyed this edition, please Send it to a friend or colleague!

Health news you can use: It's chi time

April 30th is World Tai Chi/Chi Kung Day. Many programs will be presented throughout the United States at 10 AM on this last Saturday in April. To locate a program near you check www.worldtaichiday.org

Tai Chi and Chi Kung, a gentle combined moving meditation and exercise, is great preventive care and rehabilitation both for patients and HCPs. I recently completed my first form ,'The Longevity Tree', and am now a Graduate Teaching Student of Tai Chi.

For those seeking medical data, Tai chi has been shown to help in the following systems: Mental health: improvements in self-esteem, self-confidence, sleep and mental health (depression, anxiety, etc.) Cardiopulmonary: decreases in both systolic and diastolic blood pressure, more efficient breathing and in chest expansion. Neurologic: benefit the neurologic system by causing tonal decreases as proprioceptive neuromuscular facilitation (PNF). aids in increased proprioceptive awareness which is significant for the elderly population because of its importance in decreasing the number of falls. Musculoskeletal: Improvements in posture, strength and flexibility Digestive: duodenal ulcers, lack of appetite, stomach pain and the "visceral massage effect" of some of the movements also assists in improving elimination. Hmmm.

Among the elderly, Tai Chi has been shown to be a safe way to exercise.This exercise provides a low to moderate level of cardiovascular activity while minimizing the stress on the joints. Scientific investigation has shown that the physiological, psychological and social benefits that develop through the regular practice of Tai Chi are long lasting among this population.

Go grab some chi on April 30th, and try out this alternative medicine with a valid track record!

 Please start sending my own subscription to Passionate HealthCare

Mock medical music

Butt Meddler (aka PLR) had a big hit with this tune, sung loosely to the tune of “The Rose”.

Tune in for songs about phlegm, aging, EDs, or eating right in later issues -- I've gotten a motherlode of Mock Medical Music! And if you have any songs, share the lyrics with us at PLRaymond@RxForSanity.com, and we'll credit you!

If you enjoyed this edition, we encourage you to Send it to a friend or colleague!

It's time to go! (the sign reads "Honey, Use new red flush button. Love, Muffin." I suppose the seat was left up one too many times)

Gastroenterologist, broadcaster, speaker, and writer Patricia L. Raymond MD FACP FACG of Rx For Sanity is author of "Don't Jettison Medicine! Resuscitate Your Passion For The Career You Loved". DJM is a joyous workbook of thirty exercises that will help to resuscitate your passion for caregiving. It's available, along with her unique joke anthology "Colonoscopy: It'll Crack U Up!" at the Sanity Store at www.RxForSanity.com or at Amazon.com.

She is a frequent speaker and workshop leader at national and international conventions, teaching medical caregivers techniques of self-care. As host of NPR's regional live radio program, "Housecalls", she encourages our patients to step up and accept responsibility for their own health, every Friday at noon (EST). You can tune in for live streaming audio!

Attention Meeting Planners! Scheduled already into late 2005, Dr. Raymond brings her passionate message to "Health Yourself" to conventions, regional meetings and Grand Rounds. Keep her in mind- even if you have a last minute cancellation. Dr. Pat Raymond delivers high-content, interactive programs that are lots of fun. She gives away great door prizes. And, most importantly, she will make you look good. Call 757-547-0368, write PLRaymond@RxForSanity.com or visit www.RxForSanity.com for details on her programs!

Where to meet or hear Dr Raymond: When will she be in your neighborhood?

Springfield MO 04/30 Sacramento CA 05/12 San Francisco CA 05/13 Minneapolis MN 05/15-16

Atlanta GA 07/09-12 Pittsburg PA 09/11 New Jersey 10/15 Honolulu, HA 10/28-11/3

Email for information on how to attend, or to 'piggy-back' your presentation into Dr. Raymond's travel plans, or even to take her to lunch or dinner (you drive, she'll buy)!

  Tell a friend about our nifty main website, Rx For Sanity!

Or give your friends with vintage posteriors the whole poop about colonoscopy at the hilarious and educational new Crack-U-Up.com

What're you waiting for? Get Passionate HealthCare now!