-- Courtesy of the amazingly ministerial and quite caucasian Henri Baillargeon RN of Chesapeake General Hospital!

If you have any fun holiday Mock Medical Music, please share with us with us at PLRaymond@RxForSanity.com, and we'll credit you!

We Need Your Tips…

In recently talking with some PHC readers, a common theme emerged. "I know I am supposed to send two tips, jokes, or questions each year, but I don't think I have anything unusual or sophisticated enough to interest others. My health care practice is too basic for PHC readers."
We've heard this enough we thought we should address it.

PHC readers are health professionals at all levels. While we try to keep the content at a reasonably advanced level, we occasionally post items for folks newer to the profession. Also, the reason this is an ezine vs. a listserv is that we weed out the things we think are too much of a "duh" or are inappropriate. So please, send us the ideas, jokes, or tips that make your day in health care sing. I will decide if we think it will be of sufficient interest to enough of our readers to post. Let us do our job as editors. But we need you to send us your tips to sift through for the best.

(Please don't be offended if we decide not to post your tip. It might be for any number of reasons, such as we just had a similar tip a couple of issues back.)

Got more than two best-practice ideas or jokes to share? Send us a bunch. If we think others will be interested, we'll bank them for later issues.

(BTW, a little secret. Some people think we track who sends us tips each quarter and unsubscribe those who don't. We have lives beyond PHC and Rx For Sanity so we don't get that nitpicky. We prefer to just trust that you'll send us what you think would be valuable, hopefully a couple per year.)

The Sanity Store: The Perfect Gift for Someone Who Claims to Have Everything

Don't buy another tie!

Perhaps you didn't know that December is Colon Cancer Awareness Month-- and that a perfect one size fits all gift is a colonoscopy! Send your friends a Crack U Up Colonoscopy Party Pack, and humorously lead them toward their own life-saving colonoscopy.

Encourage friends and family to giggle and go. Each Party Pack includes:
THREE copies of Colonoscopy: It’ll Crack U Up, a pocket-sized 56 page colonoscopy joke anthology featuring the finest in inoffensive bottom humor. You get one to keep and two to share! THREE pin-on lapel Buttons- reminding strangers you pass on the street to get their vertical smile in for colon cancer screening. One colorful canvas tote bag to make you the envy of your lunch crowd.

Who Will Want a Crack U Up Colonoscopy Party Pack?

• ANY/EVERY one at their fiftieth birthday.
• ANY/EVERY one who has a friend with colon cancer
• ANY/EVERY doctor, nurse, or health care professional involved in the colonoscopy procedure
• In fact, ANY/EVERY one with a (_|_)!
Bottom line… how much is your friends’ good health worth to you?
How about just $25 for all this! What a jolly holiday it will be!

Too many on my list have so much more than what they require, so I’ve got requests for VISA gift cards and specific store gift certificates. Are you facing this too? Just say no, do yourself a favor, and give your world the gift instead.

For those touched by the continued strife as our gulf coast rebuilds, the American Red Cross continues to assist in general needs, as Habitat for Humanity works to rebuild homes and families. If your concern is world hunger and poverty, consider The Heifer Project, is a nifty charity providing farm animals to the poor to sustain families, food and economic needs. Information on how to provide a gift for our troops to show them that they are not forgotten in this war -- read carefully; terrorism concerns have made this giving a little harder than in the past. Perhaps you can collect for a present for a serviceman or woman at your holiday party.

If you want your gift to remain local, there are additional options. Concerned about women in need? I give regularly to our local women’s shelters (one a transitional home for pregnant women and teens, another a shelter for battered women.) You might choose a local branh of a medical cause, such as breast cancer, heart disease, or MS.

To paraphrase an ad, “What’s in your wallet?” I hope it’s your heart.

Do you have a favorite charity? Let me know at PLRaymond@RxForSanity.com, and I’ll publish it as a late gift suggestion in mid-December.

How soft-serve ice cream happens.

Just a little tip to help you on your holiday diet from your good friends at PHC!

I wouldn't fake you out-- Please slow down and drive carefully this holiday season!

Crack-U-Up Medical Fun: Understanding your HMO

Q. What does HMO stand for?
A. This is actually a variation of the phrase, "Hey, Moe!" Its roots go back to a concept pioneered by Doctor Moe Howard of the Three Stooges, who discovered that a patient could be made to forget about the pain in his foot if he was poked hard enough in the eyes. Modern practice replaces the physical finger poke with hi-tech equivalents such as voice mail and referral slips, but the result remains the same.
Q: Do all diagnostic procedures require pre-certification?
A. No. Only those you need.
Q. I just joined a new HMO. How difficult will it be to choose the doctor I want?
A. Just slightly more difficult than choosing your parents. Your insurer will provide you with a book listing all the doctors who were participating in the plan at the time the information was gathered. These doctors basically fall into two categories -- those who are no longer accepting new patients, and those who will see you but are no longer part of the plan. But don't worry - the remaining doctor who is still in the plan and accepting new patients has an office just a half day's drive away!
Q. What are pre-existing conditions?
A. This is a phrase used by the grammatically challenged when they want to talk about existing conditions. Unfortunately, we appear to be pre-stuck with it.
Q. What happens if I want to try alternative forms of medicine?
A. You'll need to find alternative forms of payment.
Q. My pharmacy plan only covers generic drugs, but I need the name brand. I tried the generic medication, but it gave me a stomach ache. What should I do?
A. Poke yourself in the eye.
Q. I have an 80/20 plan with a $200 deductible and a $2,000 yearly cap. My insurer reimbursed the doctor for my out-patient surgery, but I'd already paid my bill. What should I do?
A. You have two choices. Your doctor can sign the reimbursement check over to you, or you can ask him to invest the money for you in one of those great offers that only doctors and dentists hear about, like windmill farms or frog hatcheries.
Q. What should I do if I get sick while traveling?
A. Try sitting in a different part of the bus.
Q. No, I mean what if I'm away from home and I get sick?
A. You really shouldn't do that. You'll have a hard time seeing your primary care physician. It's best to wait until you return, and then get sick.
Q. I think I need to see a specialist, but my doctor insists he can handle my problem. Can a general practitioner really perform a heart transplant right in his office?
A. Hard to say, but considering that all you're risking is the $10 co-payment, there's no harm giving him a shot at it.
Q. Will health care be any different in the next century?
A. No, but if you call right now, you might get an appointment by then.

(_|_)

Where's Dr. Pat?
Where to meet or hear Dr Raymond: When will she be in your neighborhood?

Email for information on how to attend, or to 'piggy-back' your presentation into Dr. Raymond's travel plans, or even to take her to lunch or dinner (you drive, she'll buy)!

Attention Meeting Planners! Already booking into 2006, but still available for winter holiday parties, Dr. Raymond brings her passionate message to "Health Yourself" to conventions, regional meetings and Grand Rounds. Keep her in mind- even if you have a last minute cancellation. Dr. Pat Raymond delivers high-content, interactive programs that are lots of fun. She gives away great door prizes. And, most importantly, she will make you look good. Call 757-547-0368, write PLRaymond@RxForSanity.com or visit www.RxForSanity.com for details on her programs!

Legal Lingo: The information contained herein is not intended to serve as medical diagnosis or a means to dispense medical advice. It is for information, communication and educational purposes only. It is not to be used as a substitute for seeking medical treatment or proper medical care. © 2005, Rx For Sanity.

Many publications and e-zines have requested permission to excerpt from P@ssion@te HealthCare. You are welcome to excerpt anything from this e-zine absolutely free, with the following caveat: all excerpts or reprints must carry the following credit line: "From P@ssion@te HealthCare, a twice monthly e-zine published by Patricia Raymond MD and available at http://www.rxforsanity.com/.

We hope you are enjoying P@ssionate HealthCare. We honor your concern about unwanted email, and it is our policy to have this be a subscriber only publication. If you decide you no longer want to receive PHC, please use the link at the bottom of each to remove yourself from this list. We desire to keep our list current with enthusiastic subscribers!

To remove: RxForSanityeNews-off@zines.webvalence.com