November 2003
In This Issue:
In the News
NPR’s Marketplace / November 26 Tune in to your local NPR station for this segment of Marketplace, which will highlight the value of cooking as a team-building skill. My training program, A Recipe for Results, will be featured with others from across the country. In the Baltimore area, this program will air on 88.1 FM at 6:30 p.m. Check out http://www.marketplace.org for the station and time in your area.
Your Greatest Performance
Comes from WithinAt age 80, my former neighbor, Hilde, still dons a short, pleated skirt for her spirited weekly match on the tennis court. On nice afternoons, you’ll find her with a bandana in her hair as she tends to her ever-blooming garden of irises, lilacs and roses. In the evenings she “dolls up” to entertain friends alfresco on the back porch. And, on lazy Saturdays, she lounges in her swimsuit on a lawn chair and delves into romance novels. Hilde is always busy, but never rushed. She has her hand on the pulse of the neighborhood and stops to give a warm “hello” to everyone who crosses her path. She boasts an infectious laugh and sharp wit. For example, during a get-together with friends, Hilde once told me she listened to the other ladies lament the different types of medication they were taking. When it was her turn, she joked, "All I’m on is the birth control pill!" When I’m older, I want to be like Hilde—active, authentic and alive. She’s a model worthy of imitation. Hilde has grown old gracefully and still enjoys every moment of the dance. In our youth-focused society, that’s not a challenge for the weak at heart. Take my recent visit to the cosmetics counter at a major department store. While test-driving a new shade of lipstick, the sales clerk began to push the company’s skin-care line—a roster of products that requires a home equity loan with every purchase. She described how the creams, gels, toners and ointments had helped her look younger. She promised smoother skin, fewer wrinkles and a rosy glow. Later in the conversation I learned that she was 19 years old! OK—this is a cute story, but what does it have to do with your performance and experience of life? Simply everything! Sure, it’s important to look your best and put an effort into your grooming. It will help you project a professional image. To maintain energy, health and vitality, it's important that you eat healthfully and exercise regularly. But when you obsess over every wrinkle, lament each hair that comes out in your brush, weigh yourself twice a day, become a slave to yet another fad diet, primp every time you pass a mirror, work out to complete exhaustion and spend wads of money to fix what’s "wrong" with you, you are wasting something more precious than your hard-earned income. You are wasting your time and energy on things that have absolutely no consequence to the person you are inside and the contribution you can make to your family, profession and community. You are sabotaging the authentic potential you have within for the quick fix of what you can artificially create on the outside. "After a certain number of years, our faces become our biographies," said writer Cynthia Ozick. Would you like your biography to read like the resume of one of the world’s greatest plastic surgeons, or a person who grows better with age in his or her own skin--one who has made improvements to his or her character and continues to make a difference in the world? Ageless beauty shows its presence in the sincerity of a smile, the tenderness of a kind word, the power of a job well done and the confident air of people who know that age has not slowed them down or made them less desirable—but has given them great character and a library of life lessons to share with others. Think about it: Would Katherine Hepburn have been the same without the gracefully aged face she earned throughout her full-force life? Would Sting be more talented if he had more hair? In an article in New Woman, former English teacher Judy Goldman, age 54, wrote about her decision to eschew plastic surgery, even though many of her friends had done the deed. "I picture myself at 85, alone in the common room of a senior citizen’s residence on a cold Sunday in January. My Girl, a hit from 70 years ago, plays on the jukebox. Everyone pairs off to dance, but no one asks me—I look too old. Then, out of the corner of my eye, I see a handsome gentleman leaving the TV lounge; the Super Bowl has just ended. He takes me by the hand, leads me to the dance floor, and whispers that he knows I’m young at heart." Don’t let the fear of growing old stop you from growing more complete. Take the first step right now by writing five ways that you’ve become better with age: your courage to say "no" to requests that are not priorities, your ability to slow down and smell the roses, your improved skill as manager, your consistently decreasing golf handicap or your perfected recipe for apple pie. Your years have brought you many gifts. Accept them with grace and appreciation—and continue to share them liberally with the world. One of my favorite new songs is "Bigger Than My Body" by John Mayer. I think the title says it all.
A Powerful Tool for Self-Discovery:
Try It for FREE!Would you like to know more about what makes you tick? Would you like to create an environment in which you are effective, confident and authentic? I am now certified to administer a simple, but powerful, assessment tool called the Strength Deployment Inventory, or SDI for short. The SDI can be used alone or in conjunction with one of my coaching programs to offer powerful insight into the motivation behind your behavior. Results of the assessment will help you become more self-aware and build better relationships both personally and professionally. The tool also is a great complement to my team-building program, A Recipe for Results, as well as to my personal effectiveness, communication, conflict management and leadership programs. Feedback and 360 assessments also are available. I feel so confident about this tool that I’d like to share it with you for free. If you are the member of a group or department who you think may benefit from the SDI, please e-mail me at kim@preparedtoperform.com. If yours is one of my first five inquiries, you will receive a free assessment and personalized debriefing session with me (for yourself or one person of your choosing). This will allow you to see how the tool works and if it will benefit your team. Hope to hear from you soon!
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