Doris Young Associates'
Young Thoughts
Volume 6, Issue V
May 2005
IN THIS ISSUEGet Results with Support, Encourage, and Accountability On Lighter Side Title
Get Results with Support, Encourage, and AccountabilityI just returned from speaking at the Nursing Management Recruitment & Retention Conference in Las Vegas, Nevada. It was a great experence and there was lots to be learned. What I now wonder is how many people will be able to implement what they learned. We always feel so motivated when we come back from a conference and then something gets lost when we get back to the real world. We all want to grow and improve and this takes an internal motivation and some external support, encouragement, and accountability. Goal setting is the first place to start. It is not easy to set goals and it is a difficult process to actually achieve the goals you want to achieve. You may have hear of making a SMART goal. This is one that is specific, measurable, attainable, relevent, and time specific. Once you have identified your SMART goal, finding a peer mentor to support, encourage, and hold you accountable is the next step if you really want to see results. When you develop a peer mentor relationship it’s good to get started with a written or verbal agreement to hold each other mutually accountable. Pledge to be diligent about taking the action steps you agree on. Stay in touch with each other on a regular basis, biweekly or weekly. Determine how you will be in touch. Brief phone calls, meetings, or e-mails. If you will be in contact in person or by phone be punctual so you can make the most of your time together. Commit to consistently take the initiative in the relationship instead of waiting for the other to act. Vow to make your relationship positive, growth-oriented and effective. Consent to be a trustworthy friend to each other, which means to be open, honest about what is going on in your lives. Agree to handle what is shared with each other with respect and discretion. To make changes takes lots of energy so having someone in your corner is a big benefit. You need support, encouragement, and accountability. Accountability to a peer mentor is probably the most important step in accomplishing your goal next to taking responsibility for your thoughts, feelings as well as actions. It would be worthwhile to take some time to think about what accountability means to you. Take time to identify what negative types of accountability have you experienced. Some of you think of accountability as being controlled, shamed, guilt, peer pressure, or being exposed. If you have had toxic coaching from a parent or teacher relationships, you may have these thoughts when you think of accountability. This needs to be challenged if you’re going to have a good peer mentoring experience. Accountability is not nagging. Accountability is being willing to give account for our lives to someone else. This should not be given lightly to just anyone. Accountability is for growth, safety, and empowerment. All of us have been in relationships where we were accountable against our will. To our parents and teachers for example. If there is judgment in accountability you create a harsh relationship. If you are too forgiving, the goal may not be accomplished. This is why choice is so important. Remember that choice must be made freely and fully to be successful. Accountability can then bring safety. It can empower us to change. It energizes us so we can change. Our peer mentor becomes a mirror. A healthy peer relationship challenges us to change without punishment. Maximum growth is not possible alone. When you want to change you need support. A peer mentor can be a support system you put in place for yourself. A good peer mentor might be someone who has achieved what you want to achieve. The relationship should give you a place to think things through. However, the peer mentor is not responsible for the answer or getting things to go right. It is true that our belief about the capabilities of others has a direct impact on their performance so you want to choose someone that holds you in high regard and vis versa. In a relationship of peer mentoring, the goal is to build each other’s self-belief. It has nothing to do with controlling each other. One of the best things we can do for others is to assist them in surpassing us. For people to build their own self-belief, they need to know that their success is due to their own effort. Help each other to have heightened awareness. If you are only giving advice you are taking responsibility. Ownership comes from choice. You want to be thinking in coaching terms. According to "Coaching for Performance" there are some important qualities of a coach. Coaches are patient, detached, supportive, interested, perceptive, aware, self-aware, attentive, retentive, and a good listener. Problems can only be resolved at the level below that at which they manifest themselves. Notice things and feed them back to the person as something you noticed. Ask them how things are for them. Ask what it looks like for them. Ask if them to explore underlying reasons for their behaviors. Don’t suppose that you need to know the answer. When you think your right about someone else's motivation this often is an indication of projection. Projection can result in perceiving our own positive and negative traits in another person. We displace our patterns of feelings and behaviors originally experienced with significant figures from childhood. Many things have to be considered when you want to find a peer mentor to give you support, encouragement, and accountability. Once you have decided you want to achieve a SMART goal, you will want to look for the right person to give you the support, encouragement, and hold you accountable while you achieve your goal. It is amazing how just giving permission to someone to ask you how things are going can make a huge difference to your success. It can move you from wishing something would happen to making it happen. Many of you share the belief system that says, “I’ll believe it when I see it.” I encourage you to make a major shift to create success by changing your belief system to one that says, “Believe it and you’ll see it.” Doris Young helps healthcare organizations achieve their goals by setting up peer mentor relationships that work. For more information
A man goes to the doctor and says to the doctor:
"It hurts when I press here" (pressing his side)
"And when I press here" (pressing the other side)
"And here" (his leg)
"And here, here and here" (his other leg, and both arms)
So the doctor examined him all over and finally discovered what was wrong... "You've got a broken finger!"
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