Doris Young Associates'
Young Thoughts
Volume 6, Issue XI
November 2005
IN THIS ISSUEGive It Your Best Defense
On The Lighter Side Be all you can be!
Give It Your Best DefenseMany of our defense mechanisms are based on the fog of worry that prevents us from connecting with ourselves in meaningful ways. When we connect with our inner self we are able to stay focused on our source of inner connection and direction. This is part of the process of discovering our soul position. Our defense mechanisms can be an unconscious means to protect us from unpleasant emotions. When we face a difficult or anxiety producing situation, we may engage in intellectual analysis of the events and our defenses may be triggered to reduce the associated tension. Defense mechanisms are a means to reduce apprehension by distancing, transforming or falsifying a person's circumstances. They reduce our anxiety and allow us to cope with whatever we’re facing. Two positive defense mechanisms are affiliating with others and using humor. It is helpful to connect with other people and share our problems or difficulties without trying to make someone else responsible for them. Relationships are beneficial for both help and support. Humor, not sarcasm that is indirect anger, is another constructive means of coping with worry. We can release tension by noticing amusing or ironic aspects of a situation. Persons who successfully use humor have the capacity to stand outside themselves and observe and comment on the events impacting themselves and others. This allows them to tolerate the situation and still be able to focus on what is happening. Less useful defense mechanisms protect us from being consciously aware of a thought or feeling which we cannot tolerate. The defense only allows the unconscious thought or feeling to be expressed indirectly in a disguised form. Let's say you are angry at your nurse manager because she is very critical of you. Here's how the various defenses might hide and/or transform that anger: Denial: You completely reject the thought or feeling. "I'm not angry with her!" Suppression: You are vaguely aware of the thought or feeling, but try to hide it. "I'm going to try to be nice to her." Reaction Formation: You turn the feeling into its opposite. "I think she's really great!" Projection: You think someone else has your thought or feeling. "That nurse manager hates me." "That other nurse hates the nurse manager." Displacement: You redirect your feelings to another target. "I hate that secretary." Rationalization: You come up with various explanations to justify the situation (while denying your feelings). "She's so critical because she's trying to help us do our best." Intellectualization: A type of rationalization, only more intellectualized. "This situation reminds me of how Nietzsche said that anger is ontological despair." Undoing: You try to reverse or undo your feeling by DOING something that indicates the opposite feeling. It may be an "apology" for the feeling you find unacceptable within yourself. "I think I'll give that nurse manager a gift." Isolation of affect: You "think" the feeling but don't really feel it. "I guess I'm angry with her, sort of." Regression: You revert to an old, usually immature behavior to ventilate your feeling. "Let's laugh, and have side conversations at staff meetings!" Sublimation: You redirect the feeling into a socially productive activity. "I'm going to write a poem about anger." Defenses may hide any of a variety of thoughts or feelings: anger, fear, sadness, depression, greed, envy, competitiveness, love, passion, admiration, criticalness, dependency, selfishness, grandiosity, helplessness. The more we can become aware of how we defend against our authentic feelings the more likely we will be able to break the cycle of defense. It is much more important to know what we think and feel and then make a conscious decision about how to handle the situation. A beneficial way to get defense mechanisms out in the open is to do some role-playing. It’s worthwhile to develop a role-play that you can perform at next staff meeting. In it demonstrate several defense mechanisms. Try to give everyone in the group a part to play. Good role-plays usually spend a minute or so to develop the scene, the characters, and the situation at hand. At that point start to introduce the defenses into the scene. The whole role-play should last about 3-5 minutes. After you finish the scene, the staff will try to guess which defense mechanisms you were demonstrating. Our goal should always be to break through our own denial. Awareness is the first step to recover our authentic self. Doris provides life coaching and seminars to improve the work place. To have Doris Young come to your organization contact her at 1 800 673-8005 or Doris@DorisYoungAssociates.com. Check out her website at www.DorisYoungAssociates.com
Top ten reasons to become a nurse:
1) Pays better then fast food, though the hours aren't as good.
2) Fashionable shoes and sexy white uniforms.
3) Needles: "Tis better to give than receive"
4) Reassure your patients that all bleeding stops...eventually.
5) Expose yourself to rare, exciting and new diseases.
6) Interesting aromas.
7) Courteous and infallible doctors who always leave clear orders in perfectly legible handwriting.
8) Do enough charting to navigate around the world.
9) Celebrate all the holidays with your friends- at work.
10) Take comfort that most of your patients survive no matter what you do to them.
Sent in by Lana
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