Doris Young Associates'
Young Thoughts
Volume 7, Issue III
March 2006
IN THIS ISSUE
Take Care of The Care-Giver
On The Lighter Side
Take Care of The Care-GiverIt may come as no surprise to you that CEOs and nursing leaders think that the health care system is broken and needs to be fixed. The biggest problems facing them are the downward trend of reimbursement and a quality imperative for care that is fast. Technology use is ever increasing with an increase in healthcare utilization with higher acuity. We have more people living longer, getting sicker, and flooding our doorsteps. The shortage and aging of healthcare personnel and reduction in people choosing health care as a profession isn’t helping. Just thinking about it all gives a feeling of doom and gloom. Many of the cost cutting measures precipitated the mass exodus of the nursing staff since it is perceived as reducing quality and increased the difficulty of the work environment. The financial pressure on health care administration and nursing leaders keep them up at night. It’s a tremendous responsibility to meet the demands of today’s pressure cooker. Looking for medical specialists and staffing throughout the system is enough to put big bags under their eyes. Many of our hospitals suffer from mediocre performance. The results of burnout and frustration of these limitations and powerlessness of getting a solution is causing havoc in today’s health care workplace. After many years of feeling blamed and used as scapegoats nurses have left or become protective and rigid. If you want to improve patient care and truly have patient loyalty we must get back to the basics. The focus must be on taking care of the care-giver. Anyone who’s spent time as a patient recognizes that a confident nurse is invaluable. They are the first line of patient advocacy and work with the whole health care team to get patients the best results.
The toll can be great. Being hyper-vigilant is exhausting and can result in giving from their fabric. If nurses are not careful they can give from their essence rather then their excess. If nurses are not careful they can loose touch with their own needs and become totally drained. Nurses can attend a seminar or take some time off but if they don’t care of themselves they will eventually have to leave the profession. And that is a tragedy. Nursing requires giving and nurturing. If a person doesn’t have these qualities, they would not be a candidate for the job. They must meet the needs of their patients. It is also important for them to teach their patients to meet their own needs when capable. Since they cannot be with them forever, they need to learn when to support, encourage, and challenge. The old saying, “Feed a man a fish and you help him for a day. Teach him how to fish and you help him for a lifetime,” is absolutely true. While knowing when to comfort is important, intentionally guiding someone to help him or herself is just as essential. My drive to write my upcoming book for my nursing colleagues was fueled by my own personal collapse after many years of pushing myself. Nurses must take care of themselves if they are going to be able to take care of the people they serve.
In her book Approval Addiction, Joyce Meyer talks about people-pleasers. It feels so fantastic to comfort and please people that are in need. Unfortunately, nurses are prime candidates to become compulsive people-pleasers. As such, we unconsciously crave the rewards of filling the needs of others since it feels so good to bring pleasure to others; this becomes the focus of life.
We will set aside our own personal needs, not realizing that denying them can lead to severe consequences.
People-pleasers were often raised in families where their needs and feelings were not valued, respected, or important. As children, people-pleasers were expected to take care of other people’s needs and were recognized for it. Being affirmed feels so good that the behavior continues. All nurses must stay in touch with their driving force and wishes in order to counter compulsive people-pleasing. If left unchecked it will lead to predictable stress. Freidman notes that personality, stress, and health are related. Some people become ill; while others remain healthy. He points out that the “match” between the person and environment is sometimes more important than either the person or the environment. Health and illness are ever-changing on the way to equilibrium and well-being. The forms of coping, the individual doing the coping, and the particular situations must all be considered. For example, a study of middle managers shows that low reward in the workplace is related to absences due to sickness and that managers who produce high effort with low reward at work have more serious physical symptoms like hypertension. Passive coping with chronic work stress may predispose individuals to withdrawal-behavior absences from work, while active coping is more likely to be associated with physical-health consequences of sustained autonomic nervous system arousal like hypertension. Often nurses will stay in environments and experiences both retreating and attacking and never sit down to really analyze what they want. When the only chance of getting what we want is to ask for it. I have a ten week program that helps nurses reduce stress, increase energy, and feel more fufilled in their work and personal life. My four step coaching process helps individuals identify where they are and where they want to go. It helps them develop a belief system that they can have what they want. It also helps them create a plan with action steps to achieve their goals and stay focused on getting results. If you would like to receive a complemetary coaching session be one of the first five people to call Doris Young at 757 624-9603 or send an email to Doris@DorisYoungAssociates.com
<><><> 1976 vs. 2006 <><><> 1976: Long hair
2006: Longing for hair 1976: KEG
2006: EKG 1976: Moving to California because it's cool
2006: Moving to Arizona because it's warm 1976: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
2006: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor 1976: Going to a new, hip joint
2006: Receiving a new hip joint 1976: Being called into the principal's office
2006: Calling the principal's office 1976: Disco
2006: Costco 1976: Parents begging you to get your hair cut
2006: Children begging you to get their heads shaved 1976: Passing the drivers test
2006: Passing the vision test
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